I use to think about killing myself, but now, I'm slowly regaining my confidence  in life. Awhile ago, something happen and if it continues, I might be cured. Because of my aunt, I'm still alive. Dude, seriously, my aunt is my hero. It's sad that my parents aren't, but I still love them a lot. And without my brother, life would be boring. My brother tells me the same thing, "If you didn't excist, life would be boring." I guess I'm very important because my best friend Krystal tells me I was there when she needed me. I do get the feeling it was because of me that helped her pass IPC class. I'm glad.

I sort of feel like my dream will come true; it's just taking time to get to. Although, sometimes there are events that remind me of my problem, which make me feel like I'm hopeless. Their too stupid to talk about here. No one will understand me. My aunt doesn't really see who I am, but I like it how she treats me like I don't have any problems. It's like she's trying to get me to forget my problem by telling me that there's nothing wrong and that it's all in my head. I kept telling her that its a disorder but she kept telling me it's all in my head, over and over...

Well, I like to think that it is all in my head, then I feel like there's hope in my life. Because of this problem, I'm no where. I was kinda hoping I would be notice by now. I guess it's still to early; I'm only 19 going on 20 in October.

Okay, let me just remind you guys who I wish to be. It's very interesting how people react when I tell them I want to be a movie director. They go silent or tell me something negetive. It makes me feel like they don't believe in me. My friends say they believe in me but their my friends. You can say it but I will not feel it. So, I'm kinda just brealy holding on to my dream with no confidence what so ever. I wish I was tall and loud but I'm the opisite. I just can't see how I will work in Hollywood. Well, if I make it, I will be shocked and ask myself how in the world did I get here. But now, I wish also I was a producer and a screenwriter. There are days when I feel like teaching filmmaking, so I wish to teach to young kids film. I'm already planning out the agenda. The story that I'm writing right now has been in my mind since I was 14 years old, the age when I started thinking about becoming a movie director. I told everyone that it was going to be a book. Well, now that I feel somewhat different, I might go back into writing it into a script, which was what it was going to be in the first place. I don't know, I might continue writing it in book form. Of course, along the way I've thought of other movies, there on hold right now.

I predict that I will be known by the year 2012. I wish it were sooner though. My first movie will be weird and sick to some, but to me its just one of those psycho movies. Then my second movie will be even weirder and creepier. I also think it will have some CGI, just some. Then... hopefully I can go into more of my favorites. I have a story perfect for Pixar. This movie will make me famous just like that because of the characters I'm using. I think only one friend on the net knows who they are. I also wish to remake this movie that was made back in like the 70s. Can't give you the title. I have a movie for Cartoon Network if they decide to get into more in the film industry.

But most importantly, the story I'm writing right now is what will make me famous for. If you look at my Mp3.com profile, the banner kinda represents the story. Robots, that's all I can tell you. I've always been fasinated by them and now I think I've thought of the ultimate robot movie. ULTIMATE!!! I just have a feeling I will be as popular as George Lucas with his Star Wars. This movie might be three movies but could fit for six. I even have a perfect title for it which took years to make up. If my movie were to be stollen, then I will commet suicide. But this movie is so complex I don't think anyone will be able to handle it except maybe Steven Spielberg. Because of my movie, I continue to move forward. Who knows, I might be the next George Lucas. I wouldn't be shocked to hear that people camped out infront of a theatre to see my robot movie. I wish to get the title copyritten but I'm not sure if you can do that.

I really hope I'll get there. I still need to go to college and I was thinking The Art Institute Of Dallas. Maybe I can also do film-connections. I still have to fix some things in my life though inorder to proceed.