After watching Oprah today, I feel somewhat different. I learned that I was not the only one. You know what... starting today, I will face my fears!

Let me just tell everyone: Okay, to some it may shock you. Good thing no one here really knows what I look like. You all know I'm 19 years old and going on 20. Really, I feel like all this time I;ve been locked up in my room. Its not because of my parents but because of my choice to. I feel like its because of me my parents are depressed. I put everyone down really. They worry about me, well, I feel like they do. They don't think I can make it in the world. I agree with them. Kids in school know me as the quit one. I nevered talk and would get picked on because of that, in middle school that is. In high school, I felt they thought I was a freak, didn't had that many friends. It's so hard to meet new people. Okay, let me cut to the chase: I lack confidence and self-esteem. Not only that, I think I suffer from a social anxiety disorder. I take this seriously because of the huge dream I have. I brag alot about it but it's because I sometimes feel it's not going to come true. So, by talking about it, I feel better for some reason. Even though I have internet friends, in real life, I fear people. I stay in my room all day and not go anywhere, and I'm getting sick. I still don't know how to drive and I've never had a job. I can't do anything without my parents. How in earth am I going to make it in the real world? I was actually thinking about writing to Oprah, but I'm scared to. I don't want to be infront of all thoughs people, on tv.

Although, after watching todays episode, I saw this girl who seems to had suffer the same thing. Her dream came true. Maybe it is possible. I just don't know what to do now.

Wish to write more, but I got to go...