I'm sick today, so we're going to make this fast. Very fast. And go -

5. 30 Rock

David Schwimmer is brilliant casting as the seriously annoying mascot. How much did you wanna punch the guy by the end of the half hour? He scared the children!

And the party. Did you see that party? Dude, I wanted to be at that party. Also brilliant of the writers to put in flashback, highlighting all the things people did that they regreted. The only thing I regret is Kenny is never having another party. He should have parties as often as humanly possible.

4. Numb3rs

I put pretty much all my thoughts on this episode in the thread. Still, I would like to resubmit how frakkin' adorable Charlie and Amita were this episode. The writers seemed to have remembered that those two are a couple, which is nice. We don't need storylines like this every week, but it's nice to have them sometimes.

3. The Office

Oh. Dear. Lord.

Did you see his face. Did you see Jim's face? Realizing that he might one day become Michael - that he was already on his way to becoming Michaell? I thought the man might actually faint. He must learn that the way to being Micheal is paved by caring too much. Don't combine birthdays. Don't jump out cars with cake, either. Just have a thirty minute break for cake and ice cream in the conference room, clap your employee on the back and say "Happy Birthday," and spend the half hour making small talk. See? See how that has no crazy in it?

Dwight's stash was so great. Mr. A Knife? Hiding a blow-dart in the toilet tank, then taking it out and using it? Dude, he's even got a sword in the ceiling! Who has a sword that doesn't own a dojo or a fencing academy or something? Dwight does. Just Dwight.

I can't even comment on Michael and the woods. I really ... I can't.

2. Chuck

Poor Chuck, having to go back to Stanford. You had to feel for the guy, you truly did. Especially when you saw how close he was to Bryce. It must have crushed him all this time, thinking that Bryce had betrayed him like that.

How the look on Casey's face when Sarah said she only had one more round? You could tell for a second he was thinking that he knew exactly who he was going to used those remaining bullets on. Still think he needs more storyline, though. They're always promoting this show as being Chuck and Sarah. Do they not know there's another agent in the mix?

Here are two remaining questions. Is it possible that Bryce gave Chuck that info because he was trying to do the right thing, or has thefrat brother changed that much in their time apart? And we now know why Bryce got Chuck kicked out - but why did he take his girl? Interesting questions, all.

1. Ugly Betty

Bouncing back from last week, Betty hits us with the wedding of the century! There's love, there's sex, there's betrayal, and there's somebody leaving a lot differently than how they went in. Everything, in short, that makes TV great.

First of, my favorite new couple. Cliff is so patient to deal with Marc that well. Personally, I'd have offed the crazy 'mo by now. But throught the roller coaster ride that was Marc, Cliff saw potential and stuck it out. Good thing, too. Marc is seeing the stuff that's on the inside now, and Cliff has a lot of good inside ... and out. I mean, the dude cleans up nice.

Next, we have Daniel and Betty. I have to say, overreact much? The girl has a reason, if you'd care to hear it. Still, I get it. Having Willy for a Mommy Dearest can't be awalk in the park. Can't be easy being the last sane member of your family either, for that matter.

Henry was fun to watch this week. Still, he's leaving, and half the time he's just far too timid for me. And frankly, no one's that nice. I hope Gio will be back soon. He's pretty much awesome.

Alright, the bad -

3. Scrubs

You don't know the pain I feel in putting this here. You can't possibly know. I own the DVD box sets for this show, guys! Ok? The only DVD box sets I own are Scrubs, Friends, and Veronica Mars. That's it! But I can't help it. It simply wasn't funny. The only thing that made me laugh the whole episode was Dr. Cox with the coffee and the intern. Well, the Janitor and Ted were decently amusing. But JD needing to figure out he needs to grow up? Now? A storyline better used a couple years ago. He has a son these days, and that just worries me.

2. Smallville

You can't just make a character disappear just because it pertains to your story. Where'd Kara go? For likefive episodes she did nothing useful, just made Clark chase her around the globe. For once, she can help, and she's MIA? Don't buy it, sorry.

1. Kid Nation

This show - and I say this with the greatest respect to it's fans- is crap on a stick.

Random winner:

Favorite Dude Talk: Hodgins and Booth, Bones

I wish these two had more scenes. Their friendship is just hilarious, built mostly on pure need for male advice but sort of advancing ever-so-slowly. I loved how Hodgins could not keep himself from laughing. Neither could I, honestly. Booth looked so uncomfortable at confronting Cam. Woobie.

Ok, that's that. I'm taking some Nyquil and then reading as much philosophy as I can before I get knocked out.