Jen is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Jen counted to infinity...twice.

Jen doesn't wear a watch. She decides what time it is.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Jen out. It failed miserably.

When Jen sends in her taxes, she sends blank forms and includes only a picture of herself, crouched and ready to attack. Jen has never had to pay taxes, ever.

Jen can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Jen and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Jen's warm-up exercises.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Jen could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Jen doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Jen CAN believe it's not butter.

Jen can divide by zero.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Jen is worth 1 billion words.

When an episode of Power Rangers Time Force was aired in France, the French surrendered to Jen just to be on the safe side.

Jen always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

When taking the SAT, write "Jen" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Jen"

Jen ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Jen. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

It takes Jen 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Jen lives in Silver Hills.

Jen can touch MC Hammer.

Thousands of years ago Jen came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled North into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

Jen played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Jen pajamas.

Jen doesn't stub her toes. She accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

There is no such thing as global warming. Jen was cold, so she turned the sun up.

Jen can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Jen.

Google won't search for Jen because it knows you don't find Jen, she finds you.

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Jen. Jen eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

Jen just says "no" to drugs. If she said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

Jen is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Jen needs toothpicks.

Jen smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Jen's personal chef.

Jen does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Jen's fists is inside her own body.

Jen uses a night light. Not because Jen is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Jen.

Before each filming of Power Rangers Time Force, Jen is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit her strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors she fights.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Jen glare will liquefy your kidneys.

Jen once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Jen.

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Jen.

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Jen while she was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Jen. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

The truth will set you free. Unless Jen has you, in which case, forget it buddy!

When Jen does division, there are no remainders.

Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for "Jen's basement".

The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Jen in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.

The only sure things are Death and Taxes...and when Jen goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Jen.

Jen never wet her bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

Noah was the only man notified before Jen relieved herself in the Atlantic Ocean.

The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Jen.

Jen doesn't go on the internet, she has every internet site stored in her memory. She refreshes webpages by blinking.

Jen knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

It is said that looking into Jen's eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death.

When you say "no one's perfect", Jen takes this as a personal insult.

182,000 Americans die from Jen-related accidents every year.

If you're driving down the road and you think Jen just cut you off, you better thank your lucky stars it wasn't the other way around.

Jen never goes to the dentist because her teeth are unbreakable. Her enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.

Jen was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

Jen once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

Most people fear the Reaper. Jen considers him "a promising Rookie".

Jen was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when she rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up her dry cleaning.

Jen qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

A man once claimed Jen kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.

Jen sleeps with a pillow under her gun.

Jen is her own line at the DMV.

If Jen wants your opinion, she'll beat it into you.

They once made a Jen toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take sh!t from anybody.

Jen doesn't daydream. She's too busy giving other people nightmares.

Jen does not follow fashion trends, they follow her. But then she turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Jen.

Jen once participated in the running of the bulls. She walked.

"Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was originally written as Jen's theme song.

Jen will never have a heart attack. Her heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack her.

Only Jen can prevent forest fires.

Jen crossed the road. No one has ever dared question her motives.

Love does not hurt. Jen does.

The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Jen.

Jen doesn't kill two birds with one stone. Jen kills all birds, with two stones.

Jen knows the last digit of pi.

Those aren't credits that roll after Power Rangers Time Force. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.

Jen plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

Jen is not Politically Correct. She is just Correct. Always.

Mr. T pities the fool. Jen rips the fool's head off.

Jen had to stop washing her clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

Jen has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; she will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Jen was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Jen fight.

Jen is the only woman who has, literally, beaten the odds. With her fists.

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Jen touches turns up dead.

Jen's pulse is measured on the richter scale

Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Jen."

Jen CAN in fact 'raise the roof'. And she can do it with one hand.

For Jen, every street is "one way". HER WAY.

There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Jen.

Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Jen's kindergarten

The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Jen didn't kill you in your sleep.

Jen invented all 32 letters of the alphabet.

Remember The Ultimate Warrior? He quit wrestling because Jen wanted her nickname back.

Jen can get Blackjack with just one card

People created the automobile to escape from Jen...Not to be outdone, Jen created the automobile accident.

When Jen was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Jen.

People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Jen.

Jen wears Orion's Belt around her pinky toe and he eats with the Big Dipper.

Jen doesnt go at the speed of light, Light goes at the speed of Jen.

There is no Control button on Jen's computer. Jen is always in control.

Jen stared evil in the face, and it backed down.

There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Jen.

Jen let the dogs out.

In an emergency, Jen can be used as a floatation device.

Jen can hold her breathe for nine years.

Jen trick-or-treated as herself as a child.

Jen can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.

Jen puts the laughter in manslaughter.

Jen makes onions cry.

Jen is not only a noun, but a verb.