To me, an RPG is:
-a game where the player is awarded experience points for completing certain tasks, such as killing monsters, doing quests, etc. The player uses these experience points to become stronger and better able to complete harder tasks, such as killing stronger monsters, etc.
The most famous RPGs are most likely the Final Fantasy series. Most Final Fantasy games are "turn-based." In these games, the most common form of combat are the random battles. In random battles, the party, which usually consists of three characters, all line up and take turns performing actions that the player chooses from the menus. At the end of the battle, when the player has killed all of the monsters, the characters are awarded experience points for completing the tasks. After getting enough experience points, that character will "level up" and become stronger.
Not all RPGs are turn-based, though. Kingdom Hearts uses real-time combat, combat in which the player runs around, attacks, and tries to avoid getting hit. The player and the enemy do not take turns performing actions. Once a monster is killed, the character is awarded experience points for killing the monster, just like in the random battles of a turn-based RPG.
While there is skill and strategy involved in playing an RPG of any kind, the biggest component is "time."
Some guy could be the most nimble, dextrous gamer, but if he doesn't put the time into the game, he can't win based on pure skill. RPGs require the player to "grind": spend much time fighting monsters without progressing to get experience in order to level up. If he can't get past a certain boss, he has to go outside the area and kill enough lesser beings before he has what it takes to kill the boss and progress.
There is now that annoying element of unnecessary challenge.
It's like paying to have your sins forgiven, it doesn't matter how sorry you are or how hard you want to repent, it only matters how much you can dish out to purify your soul.
It not only makes it frustrating for those want to progress, but can't because "that guy's STR and DEX need to be higher", it goes the other way too.
If some guy spends a very long time in the first area of a game to get to an extremely high level, prematurely, his characters may be really strong, but it doesn't mean he is a better player, it only means he has put the time into completing a menial task "thousands" of times over.
All upcoming challenge is then avoided.
One may argue, in Kingdom Hearts, for the most part, the player can go the entire game without taking damage. This is true, but there are points where the player has to kill enough enemies in the "time limit," and to kill them fast, the characters must be a high enough level. If the time limit is reached and there are still monsters, GAME OVER. That player must then go "grind." It has nothing to do with dying or health; the player can lose if he or she runs out of time.
In the end, RPGs support the spoils system, awarding those who have/pay the most [time], and ignore the merit system, awarding those competent or skilled enough to complete the task. This cannot be avoided. This is the very nature/essence of an RPG.
RPGs pay the player a wage, a reward for all of the time he or she puts in to do the job.
Non-RPGs pay the player a salary, same amount regardless of how long the job took to complete.
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