12:59 AM Eastern Standard Time, Friday, September 3rd, 2004.
At 12:39 AM Eastern Standard Time on Friday, September 3rd, 2004, the Ottawaians declared war on the US. The president has chosen to retaliate and has broken a treaty with Europe for France's connection with Quebec. As of now, all children, women, spaghetti stealing relatives, and internet pedophiles should immediately take cover in their house or other shelter to avoid the incoming horde of geese armed with Alka-Seltzer. We advise Canada to surrender their weapons of mass destruction at once. here is the quote directly from our president: "We know you have....weapons...of mass destruction....Canada....surrender them to us and we--I mean you....will not be harmed..."
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