Went to Canada and blah blah it was a mediocre trip. The only good parts were Niagara Falls, I saw red barns up close in real life while we drove through Ohio and while in North Carolina we stopped at a parking lot to rest and I saw fireflies for the first time. It's those little things that really get to me.

Came back and then the next day I left for camp, which was just GREAT! It was so much fun! Me and Mindy had a great FRIENDLY time. Other than the former services, camp met and mostly succeeded every aspiration I had for it. It was just a blast. If any of you who go to church are contemplating going to a LIFT camp, GO! It's great! I'm telling you it's an experience that no one should miss, especially if Jamey Ragle is speaking on the latter days. He's hilarious! You think evangelists can't be funny? Meet Jamey Ragle. He had the whole auditorium crackin' up! Everything was really just wonderful, it really was. I've had more fun this week than any other week ever. It was just great, it truly was.

I come back and what do I see? Kirby: Canvas Curse got an 8.6! I might have to pick this up if I got the money, which is unlikely considering that I don't really have a steady cash flow now, which really stinks. I need money!

Although now I'm getting all jittery about college and so I'm seriously going to get straight A's all throughout my next two years of high school, no matter what. You can bookmark it and so can my parents, I'm going to raise the bar and I'm going to be striving the best I can for this. I already have a moderately high cumulative GPA, but I want an EXTREMELY high cumulative GPA. And I'm going to go as far as it takes and study and do extra credit assignments and I'm also going to have to get into some extracurricular activities. I'm going all out! I'm also going to try my hardest to get a job over the summer. And I'm going to have to follow a 10-10-20-60 rule. 10% is for the tithe. 10% for missions. 20% for myself. And 60% for college savings on the off chance I don't get a scholarship to where I want to go. I'm not taking any chances and I'm going to push myself as hard as it takes to get to where I want to be. He is in control, but that doesn't mean I can just be lazy! I need to make an effort! And believe me, I will! My parents might already have a college fund saved for e, I don't know, but if they do, It probably isn't enough. I'm going to try my absolute hardest. This is something I want deeply and I'm going to make an effort, no longer will I settle for a "B" or two on my report card, it's not going to happen. It's all going to be just A's.

A big thing that worries me now is that my dad leaves for Louisiana this Sunday. He told me he's probably not coming back and implied that I shouldn't be surprised that if him and mom get a divorce. And the truth is, I'm not surprised, I've been expecting this for a long time. My dad will still legally have to support us financially, but I'm worried that my mom might take me out of my school, and THAT'S what worries me. I'm going to be pretty bummed when dad and mom split, but because they've never shown love or care for each other, it doesn't bother me that much. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to be sad for a short period of time, but because of the reason I just gave, it won't bother me much. They've shown love to me financially and I'm going to be staying with my mom thankfully, but neither of them ever really showed me personal love. Sure my mom and dad hug me when they get in or whatever, but to them, they act as it is a chore. That it's just something they "have" to do. They've never really come to me and try to talk to me like real person. And the few times we did talk were because I had to seek it and ask for it. And most of the times I came to them to converse, they received me not. I'm mostly talking about my dad here. My mom would have accepted me more times if the language barrier wasn't so strong; so that's mostly my fault. I love my parents, but not as much as I would if they had ever shown true love back to me.

But yeah, it's not their divorce that worries me; it's me possibly having to leave my school. I don't want to, but if it happens, I know I'm going to be extremely depressed for probably a short period of time, but I'll remember these words: "I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future." I think you know what that means JF. No matter what happens, I'll remember who is in control. Whatever He wants for me is what I'll do. I've been bought with a price when Jesus died for my sins, when He died for me. My life is not my own, I have no right to do what I want, but rather what He desires.

"Before we can pray 'Thy kingdom come' we must be willing to pray 'my kingdom go.'" - Alan Redpath