I got a fair bit of rejection in school, being kind of a dork and weird looking, so I guess that's why I wanted to be some monstrously successful person when I got older, so that I could actually live "life to the full" as they say. Well, the thing about the present is that, unless you change it, the future will be exactly the same. So if you spend all your free time in high school infront of the computer playing diablo 2, saying to yourself how you're going to become all hardworking and dedicated when you enter your field of interest... well, you'll just end up playing diablo 3 on the computer when those glorious days come, and not make anything out of yourself. These people who are all successful, you think they just lounged around the house as kids? Hell no, they were doing something always (even if it was inside the house, like building a computer).

So if I'm not going to be some bigshot, and my past is already kind of stupid, then... now what? Well, I guess I have to settle for a stupid, average joe life. It makes me depressed, but when you really look at it, successful people are stressed out, and theyre not really that happy, and rich/famous people, they can't even differentiate between their real friends and people just want their money or part of their notoreity. So maybe being an average joe is the best thing. It still makes me feel like there's some unused reservoir of potential and genius sitting inside of me, the kind of thing that could change the frickin world but that I just haven't found, but I guess it's much more humble not to think of that.