I can't imagine what it must have been like for the Hulk fans who waited so long for Ang Lee's take on the story in 2003 only to be bitterly disappointed. It had everything going for it: A great director, a great cast, and, most importantely, a giant green mass of muscles and bones out to destroy everything in sight. Sadly, it lacked one thing: a villain. Ang Lee had gone out of his way to create a different superhero film, one that focused on the character elements and made a metaphor into the antagonist. Personally, I thought the film was an interesting experiment, but it's easy to see why people were so disappointed. It was a good movie, just not a good Hulk movie.

Marvel Studios have sought to make amends with their sequel/reboot, The Incredible Hulk. Gone is the arthouse ****of Ang Lee, replaced by French action director Louis Leterrier (Transporter, Danny the Dog) and his more mainstream **** Has the story and character study been dropped? Absolutely not, but it has been weaved into a more narrative, action-packed script penned by Zak Penn and Edward Norton (the latter of which is uncredited). Don't be mislead, for it is certainly a continuation of the last film, but the overhauled cast and crew makes it a very different experience. In fact, it's an experience I very much prefer, as The Incredible Hulk is one of the very best superhero movies yet.

We begin with Bruce Banner (played this time by Edward Norton) having made a comparitively comfortable home out of Brazil. He can barely speak the language, and he's stuck working in a run-down bottling plant, but at least the army isn't shooting at him. Unfortunately, he's forever in danger of making that despised transformation, and has a beeper to make sure his heart-rate never rises above two-hundred. He learns techniques to control his emotion. However, the most vital of his enterprises is a constant communication with a mysterious Mr. Blue, who aids Bruce in his attempt to find an antidote.

Unfortunately, he has an accident at the bottling facility. A drop of his gamma-infected blood winds up in one of the bottles, killing a consumer (the exact consumer will delight you) and bringing the army to Brazil to take him down. Of course, the operation is headed by General Thunderbolt Ross (William Hurt) who intends to use Hulk as a military weapon. But there's also the issue of the main villain so sorely missing from the last Hulk, and here we have it manifested in Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth), a military agent. He and his team pursue Banner, only to provoke his inner monster to come out and clobber the living daylights out of his assailants.

Now, Banner goes on the run again and Blonsky is left embittered by his being uninformed about Hulk and the severe casualities inflicted on his unit. He demands an explanation from the General, and, getting what he wanted, asks to be subjected to a supersoldier experiment.

Banner, in the meantime, steals away to America in order to find data that could lead to the antidote he seaks. Along the way, he comes across his old lover, Betty Ross (this time played by Liv Tyler), who actually possesses the data Banner needs. Still, the army is forever at Banner's heels, and his struggle gets more and more complicated. Without spoiling too much, Emil Blonsky eventually transforms into the villain Hulk fans had cried out for after the first film, and he provides a worthy adversary for Banner.

In fact, in most respects, this overhaul is an improvement upon the first film. I've heard people complain that this take on the story omits any character development and consists of pure "Hulk Smash!" We get plenty of "Hulk Smash" here that works beautifully, but there's a reason it works. Granted, Lee's film featured more apparent character elements, but Leterrier's The Incredible Hulk doesn't feel the need to focus on elements that are already there. Instead, it communicates these elements through the action, like any good action flick does, and in many ways the story is the key element that makes the action sequences as tension-filled and memorable as they are. Along with Speed Racer, The Incredible Hulk is a great example of how to execute action that is as meaningful and dramatic as it is thrilling.

Of course, Leterrier is no stranger to action, but he's never had as good a script as he does here. It's impossible to tell which elements are Zak Penn's and which are Edward Norton's, but the whole is both thrilling and surprisingly deep, though not so concentrated on either element that one exceeds the other. Its first act is the slowest, taking ample time to set up Bruce Banner's story without any initial sign of the Hulk, which highlights something often missing in film today: build-up. The Hulk doesn't show up until the second-act begins, Blonsky doesn't make his transformation until the third-act, we don't see "Mr. Blue" until near the end of the second-act. Of course, those who follow the comics already know who Mr. Blue is, but this film knows how to hook people in and pay-off their expectations.

As for the overhauled cast, that too improves greatly on the previous film. While Eric Bana was and still is an excellent actor, Norton puts a touch more subtlety into his performance. William Hurt's General Ross has more menace than Sam Elliot's, overall matching the role better than the previous actor (though, admittedly, there's not as much depth to his character in this version). However, the biggest improvement is in Betty Ross: Liv Tyler sometimes overacts her role, but she is a massive improvement upon Jennifer Connelly's performance in the last Hulk. As for new characters, we have both Tim Roth as Emil Blonsky and Tim Blake Nelson acting without the accent. Both are pitch-perfect for their roles, and both leave an impression (and it's quite clear that Tim Blake Nelson will have a role in the sequel). I have few complaints with this cast.

However, the most sorely needed improvement was needed in the effects department, and this film quite thankfully delivers. No longer does the Hulk look like a giant, overly-clean cartoon. His design is quite a bit more believable here, with a rougher and more detailed look. What's most important is that is has exponentially more character. Hulk isn't a hunk of CGI here; he's a real character. All of these strengths are also inherent in Hulk's enemy later in the film. Great praise should be given to this film's effects team for doing such a remarkable job on bringing these characters to life.

Generally, I'm very surprised that this film turned out as great as it did. I haven't mentioned how great the sound design and score are, but it's just another factor that shows how much love these people have for the character. As previously mentioned, I feel Ang Lee's Hulk is underrated, but there are serious flaws within, and this reboot fixes every one of my issues. Characterization is more understated, the acting is more consistent, the effects are an exponential improvement, and this film is just a lot more fun. It's the Hulk film everyone clamored for five years ago. Many exciting references are made to the comic and TV show, many of which I had to read up on myself. Even if you've never been a fan of Bruce Banner, this film can be enjoyed as an action film, and it is perhaps the best of the year. Marvel Studios is quickly turning into the best thing that ever happened to superhero movies, and if this and Iron Man are any indication then we'll be looking forward to a bright future for Marvel characters. Along with Iron Man,The Incredible Hulk is one of the best movies of the year.

Plan 9 from Outer Space. D-Wars. The Wicker Man remake.

Every year, we recieve one comedic masterpiece that critics and the public foolishly write off as just another bad film. If only people would take closer looks at these works, they would find themselves watching satiric masterworks.

This year's Wicker Man remake is The Happening.

Early on in the film, an entirely inconsequential principal informs his staff that "an event is happening," and I feel this sums up the plot superbly. First, something happens. Next, nothing happens for ninety minutes. Finally, nothing stops happening.

Indeed, what we have here is a piece of subversive filmmaking from Mr. Shamalonyalonamon that only a genius like Douglas Sirk could have concieved, though not with as high a concept as Shmaladong has crafted. Previously, Shmellalong graced the screen with several solidly crafted dramatic works such as The Sixth Sense and Lady in the Water (I'm not joking when I say I actually dug Lady in the Water as an imperfect experiment). However, with The Happening, our noted auteur has done something very interesting: After breaking away from his formula with The Village and Lady in the Water, only to be spat upon by critics and audiences alike, this director has made the crafty decision to return to his previous formula with the twist of making everything as utterly terrible as he possibly can.

It's a risky move, but it has payed off in belly laughs and deliciously cynical satire.

Our story begins with something happening. After something has happened, we find ourselves in a ****oom, where a man named Dignam swears profusely at young Billy Costigan about all the "****n' disappearing bees," before killing Matt Damon and being taken to a meeting where the principal informs his staff that "an event is happening." The teachers are understandably shaken, considering nothing interesting ever happens in Philadelphia. Dignam returns home to his wife, played by Zooey "Big, Teary Eye-Balls" Deschanel. Apparently, she's cheating on him, and he, being the stupidest man alive, does not know. Now, you may ask, what does this affair have to do with trees making people kill themselves? I assure you, there are many, many answers to your question.

The two of them leave on a train, only to be booted off. John Leguizamo leaves them to find his wife with another family. He is killed, apparently owing to the fact that humanity has not yet developed small-hole-covering technology. Dignam and his wife leave with his little girl with Mr. Hot Dog and his wife. They find themselves at an intersection, where they meet living proof that gays are admitted into the military. Nothing else happens until they reach some old hag's house. She hits her head on some windows and stuff suddenly stops happening. Finally, the story ends with Big-Eyes McGee being pregnant. You may have noticed what a gripping narrative this is, but I assure you it is doubly gripping on the big screen.

This story is rife with symbolism. For example, the scene in which a man commits suicide by jumping into a lion cage is indicative of humanity's relationship with nature. We shield ourselves from nature's might with shields of blissful ignorance and allow ourselves to play with danger, only to suddenly find our arms have transformed into bafflingly fake red stumps. The immortal sequence in which Dignam converses with a household tree reflects humanity's everlasting cry to nature to deliver us from its cold hand of death, only to find our words fall on deaf-ears, belonging to a plastic God. As previously stated, only Sirk or maybe Paul Verhoeven could have gotten away with this level of thematic subversion. It is a testament to directorial visual and narrative wit that these sequences of subtle depth can be put across on screen. Shmelvin should be commended.

Of course, the production values are also excellent. Tak Fujimoto gives his finest cinematographic work since Pilot Episode of MacGyver. James Newton Howard proves how much more valuable sudden and concentrated walls of sound are than actually having scary scenes. Other people worked on this film as well.
And, so, I will end this review by stating what Shteinenheiser's trademark twist ending this time is. You may want to stop reading at this point, for the twist ending is amazing. The Happening….HAPPENS AGAIN!

In France.

And so, the audience left the theater with the confident knowledge that France stinks. Indeed, we can all take a page from this film, for, yea verily, France is lame. Lame, however, does not describe the genius oozing out of every crevice of every frame on this wonderful picture. Of all the words I could use to describe it, there is only one that could possibly come close to encapturing the experience I had while watching this picture: Scaramaflogget. This is the most scaramaflogget movie I have ever seen.

Mark Wahlberg Talking to a Tree/10

What I'm about to tell you may shock you. It may cause you to rub your eyes in disbelief before taking a second look to make sure I actually wrote what you just read, leading to an overwhelming moment in which you realize that, yes, I wrote that and meant every word. If you're an obsessing dweeb, you'll display your irritation in a visual manner, breathing heavily and bringing the frown to new levels of facial distortion, only to accidentally breathe-in cheeto dust and doom yourself to a well-deserved weekend in the emergency room with tubes jammed down your nostrils. Have you composed yourself? Alright.

Beyond Iron Man, beyond Cloverfield, beyond Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Speed Racer is the single best movie I've seen all year.

But you may point out that Speed Racer, being an adaptation of a cheesy cartoon and a critical whipping boy, must obviously suck. And you would be the same as the majority of Americans, but you would be dead wrong. See, Speed Racer is some of the best entertainment of the year, displaying superior craftsmanship and dedication from everyone involved, from the directors and writers to the production crew to the cast. It's their dedication that makes Speed Racer more than a cynical corporate cash-in like the other adaptations of television shows, and it pains me that people will lump this in with those disgraces.

Let me indulge in nostalgia for a moment. As a kid, Speed Racer was one of the things I grew up with. Speed and his Mach 5 were the epitome of cool for me, with its crazy gadgets and slick design and his curiously fast-paced speaking **** Sadly, as with many childhood favorites, Speed has dulled in my mind over time. The animation was cheap and the voice-acting legendarily wonky…yet…There was something heartfelt in the family dynamics, and that's what makes this movie work so well. It taps into the elements of Speed Racer that were great while tweaking what wasn't so good without delving into self-parody. Everything in the execution is completely respectful toward the source material. In many ways, this is what I wish the Transformers movie had been; retaining a sense of fun while exploring what was good about the original cartoon and improving it into a legimately good piece of entertainment. I enjoyed Transformers regardless, but Speed Racer is undeniably better.

Speed Racer's plot deals with a predictable plot arch for anyone who's seen the show, that being Speed's attempt to make an important Grand Prix despite facing an onslaught of corporate sabotage. There's nothing particularly original in the overall story. It's in the execution that this movie becomes an example of excellent storytelling.

We kick off with some scenes addressing Speed's childhood. What shocked me was the honesty with which the movie kicks off. Young Speed isn't a cartoon character, he's an actual human being who could exist in the real-world, and he happens to be the kind who is so passionate about a particular subject (in this case racing) that he lets his studies falter and is looked down-upon by his teacher and fellow students. But not his faithful girlfriend Trixie (played in glorious adult form by Christina Ricci), and not his loving family that includes Pops Racer, (John Goodman in one of his best non-Coen Bros. roles) Mom Racer, (Susan Sarandon) and big brother Rex Racer (Scott Porter). It's Rex who cultivates Speed's passion the most, taking him out on the track many-a-time and becoming Speed's role model.

These scenes are scattered about an early set-piece race in which Speed clobbers his opponents in a minor race, only to be beaten by a ghostly representation of his brother that marks where he stood during the race where he set an old record. All through the film, Speed is chasing the ghost of his brother, who seems to have had been killed years earlier in a cross-country race. He haunts Speed's every action, and Rex's apparent mistakes are always at the back of Speed's head when he's forced to make a decision.

The first thing you may notice when watching Speed Racer is how excellent the action sequences are. People claim that the action scenes are incromprehensible and full of vapid spectacle, yet, I found these to be some of the most carefully structured action sequences in years. Despite the chaos on screen, the actual geography is always crystal clear, and they build and release like all great action scenes should and the multitudes of mediocre ones fall at. In this sequence, Speed's goal is to match Rex's track record. You're always sure why a particular action sequence is happening, and, more importantly, each one tells story and develops character at the same time that it pumps up the adrenaline.

Speaking of story, despite what prior reviews have led you to believe, this has one hell of a yarn. Knowing what a close-knit family the Racers are, we can come into the story with an understanding of the conflicts Speed has to face. One day, a private jet lands in the street in front of the Racer household (this isn't a realistic movie, you see) and a man named Royalton hops out with an offer for Speed: drive for his company and join the corporate elite of racing. He even brings the entire Racer family for a private tour of the facilities that will be at his disposal. Over time, the offer becomes more and more tempting, but Pops is clearly ill-at-ease. As he describes to Royalton, he's not approving of corporate machines such as these, but he still leaves the decision to Speed. Ever loyal to his family, Speed ultimately decides to remain independent, but the cost is that his next race is sabotaged, his family is sued out of its credibility, and Speed is left with his image of racing being destroyed.

He does what anyone loyal to his family would wish to do: Get back at the people who are hurting them. The mysterious Racer X shows up at his front door with a very different offer to race in the very cross-country rally that killed his brother. Racer X is a character anyone remotely familiar with the show knows about. Without spoiling anything, the Wachowskis throw in a few twists to his character that prevents him from being altogether predictable.

I'm going to leave the plot at that, but the characters deserve discussion. The Wachowski brothers really deserve credit for taking a cheesy, underwritten show and turning it into a heartfelt film about relationships. Speed is played by Emile Hirsch, who previously impressed me in Into the Wild. I might like this performance a little more than that (I know I prefer this movie in general). Of course he plays it kitschy, but he never overdoes it. He's as excellent in conveying Speed's emotions. John Goodman has been in some bad movies and roles, but this is some of his best work. His action ****is completely straight, and he never fails to take the character of Pops Racer completely seriously. Susan Sarandon actually underplays her role, and feels like a completely real person as a result despite the cartoon backdrop. Kick Gurry is fine as Sparky, Pops's assistant. Matthew Fox plays it cool as Racer X, and turns what could have been a ridiculous charicature into a confident, likeable enigma. The only characters to play their characters as complete kitsch are Christina Ricci as Speed girlfriend (understandably, and with quite a bit of ability actually) and Paulie Litt as Speed's younger brother Spritle. He and Chim-Chim provide much of the comic relief, and to my own personal relief the two of them are actually quite funny. That's right, a chimp in a movie that is ACTUALLY FUNNY. Disney, you no longer have any excuse.

This kind of attention to character is rare in today's blockbusters. Character depth seems to be something that has died out since the days of superior storytelling as practiced by Steven Spielberg and George Lucas (a long time ago in a mindset far, far away). These guys knew great action scenes were not enough, and there is as much character work in Raiders of the Lost Ark as action. Speed Racer does the same thing, bringing us memorable characters and a riveting storyline that echoes the hayday of pure entertainment. It's better than Iron Man, it's better than Cloverfield, and it's even better than the latest Indiana Jones movie. I honestly cannot imagine anyone who doesn't concern themselves with appearing "cool" or "intellectual" (depending on your age and favored community) disliking this film. If you have any shread of appreciation for superb entertainment, please, forget what you've heard about Speed Racer. I'm almost certain this will remain in my top ten of the year, and I sincerely hope the fast funds accrued from the Matrix series will allow the Wachowskis to continue working in Hollywood despite the financial failure of this film. If it's still playing near you, please, go see it before it leaves theaters. I can't imagine any more fun being had than here. Only the Dark Knight and Hellboy II stand any foreseeable chance of being better entertainment this summer. This is a movie that reminds us of how great it is to be a kid again.

And to those who cannot see it, I pity you. I truly do.

In my youthful days of imitating cowboys and watching Ninja Turtles videos in my pajamas, I had my lineup of favorite movies on VHS for my frequent indulgence just like most kids. My shelves were lit up by the likes of Star Wars, James Bond, and, yes, the Indiana Jones trilogy. Many a night I would escape into the riveting adventures of this iconic film character, with its deservedly idolized score, strong performances, and timeless sense of adventure.

Time has dulled my opinion of this trilogy somewhat. Raiders of the Lost Ark is every bit the masterpiece I remember it being, and I still quite like Temple of Doom despite the general opinion that this is the trilogy's Return of the Jedi. Unfortunately, despite the presence of Sean Connery, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade has not aged well for me. The humor that worked so well in the first two films is made painful self-aware in this film, and the sense of fun has given way to a self-parody that borders on shame. Of course, I was rather sceptical when I heard the long-awaited fourth film was going to be closest in tone to the third.

Many people will go to this film and search for extremes of quality. You'll see long arguments on the internet about how it's either a terrible disappointment or brilliant when it's actually a bit of a mixed-bag. There are two halves fighting each other here, most likely as a result of years spent arguing over where the story should go. The ultimately chosen plot was hated by Steven Spielberg, and there is a noticeable confidence that is missing in this episode of the Indy mythos. Yes, it involves aliens, and it does stoop to silly levels, but there are myriad elements also borrowed from the number of other scripts that have been written for this film, which makes the whole film a slight mess despite David Koepp's skill with drawing fragments into a cohesive but uninspired whole.

Our fourth adventure with Indiana Jones opens rather lamely. Spielberg's skill with composition and camera movement are apparent here, but what he's shooting is an inconsequential race between annoying teenagers and what seems to be a military driver near Area 51. There are also CGI prairie dogs. Yeah.

Soon, we learn that these trucks belong to a KGB force led by a psionic communist played by Cate Blanchett (who behaves suspiciously similar to Natasha from The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show). Compared to the nazis from Raiders of the Lost Ark, these guys nail the camp but forego any of the sinister qualities, thus coming off as a generic cartoon. Soon enough, they've penetrated the curiously underprotected compound and drag two Americans out of the trunk of the leader's car, one of which is archaeologist Mac and the other of which is our old buddy Indiana Jones.

If you're wondering how they got here, don't worry. David Koepp tells us with pages of exposition. This is easily the talkiest of the movies, and it seriously hurts the film. Another unfortunate noticeable flaw is that John Williams's score is almost completely forgettable, which is strange considering even his work on the generally inferior Star Wars prequels was still rather good. Here, it's barely more memorable than a Marco Beltrami score.

Overall, this opening set-piece is a dud compared to previous opening sequences in the other entrees. Constant dialogue grates on the ears as we wait impatiently for Indy to start kicking some butt, and Mac decides to tritely switch sides (which he does constantly in the course of the film) until we finally see Harrison Ford make his escape. Action is what makes this film worth watching, as we see Spielberg being endlessly inventive despite working with a story George Lucas essentially whined for. Sequence gives way to sequence as it builds to a climax, always putting geography and character action before flashy camera tricks (which proves why Spielberg is still the king of spectacle). It's at this point that the film takes a turn for the better, and we start to have some fun despite the storytelling issues.

In the course of this sequence, we get a glimpse of what the KGB is after, which just seems like a mutilated corpse at first. We follow a search for a hidden kingdom of gold, the key to which is a misshapen skull of crystal (hence the title) and the guidance of an insane archaeologist played by John Hurt. Over the course of the film, various disconnected strands are brought together, and it's clear a number of them were meant for completely different stories. We meet a character named Mutt Williams, played by Shia LaBeouf, who actually works surprisingly well thanks to LaBeouf's performance. Without spoiling anything, I object to the very nature of his character, which can be predicted by most people themselves. Yet, shockingly, his character works. LaBeouf has become a favorite of the industry executives, but it's easy to see why. He has charisma and an unpretentiousness that makes him a solid anchor for this and last summer's Transformers.

More importantely, he's a link to a character who we haven't met for quite some time, an integral one from Indy's past. I'm grateful Spielberg and company found room for this character, especially considering how inconsistent the new characters are. As previously mentioned, Blanchett, despite her immense talent, plays a dud villain. I'm not sure why she's psychic, as it adds nothing to the film. Ray Winstone plays an old buddy of Indy's who constantly changes his allegiance for the sake of advancing the plot. I could never develope sympathy for him when I was supposed to, nor could I hate him enough to consider Winstone a compelling villain. However, John Hurt plays the traumatized archaeologist Professor Oxley, and this was the best new character here. Hurt has always proven to be one of the most versatile actors in the world, disappearing into his characters with ease, and he has a heavy load playing this psychologically handicapped character with the key to the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls that he lifts with an Atlas-esque ease. Jim Broadbent also puts in solid work as a college dean that Jones teaches under, though he doesn't appear enough to instill any more than a mildly positive boon.

As mentioned before, where this film really excels is in the action sequences. His escape features ideas stacked upon ideas, making it clear that Spielberg still has some of the spark of his early days. Besides this, we get a car chase through the jungle that I feel ranks among the very best moments of the trilogy. It takes up a considerable amount of the film's runtime, and features an RPG, swordfighting, vine swinging, and driving on-the-edge-of and off cliffs. And also giant killer red ants. That's awesome.

Unfortunately, the ending is the worst of the quadrilogy, and it's one of the most bizarre in any Spielberg film. I don't think anyone will object to my saying that it involves a CGI alien and what seems to be an attempt to bring together the endings to Raiders of the Lost and Close Encounters of the Third Kind, complete with melting people. I'm not sure who convinced the makers that this would be a good ending, but it most likely involved questionable substances slipped into their club sandwiches. It's that weird and surreal, and I think George Lucas got the biggest dosage considering the amount of computer generated images involved. I won't deny that one of the most bombastic images is visually impressive, but I wish they had made it happen to someone whose image is less ingrained in our minds than Indiana Jones.

My last complaint is with the cinematgraphy, which is overlit and doesn't even come close to the look of the first three films. It contributes to a lightweight entree that I can't imagine becoming half as iconic as Raiders of the Lost Ark or even Temple of Doom. I understand that Mr. Lucas bafflingly released a statement asking film fans to lower their expectations, but that's no excuse when it would be far better to actually strive to meet them. Mr. Lucas damaged this film and prevented it from becoming even close to what it should have been.

But, despite my many complaints, this is not a worthless film. As a matter of fact, it's worth watching for the entertainment value and for simply seeing Harrison Ford in one of the roles he made his name with one last time. It actually ties the films together in a way that was far more satisfying than in the Last Crusade, and I'm glad it was made. I doubt I'll watch it again, but I think it's motivated me to seek out Raiders of the Lost Ark again. There's a reason it's iconic and beloved, and no matter how much George Lucas insists on ruining my childhood, I don't think he'll ever touch that masterpiece.

Thank God.