Remember how you're excited for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Well, you're an idiot--at least in the mind of the supremely talented Mr. Uwe Boll. You see, you should be excited about Postal, which just happens to come out the same day as Indiana Jones, but will be much many more awesomer. How could it not be? After all, movies based on video games tend to be fantastic examples of filmmaking (especially Uwe's movies, which will blow your mind they're so spectacular). But don't take my word for it--let's hear what Uwe has to say:

"On the Indiana Jones weekend - May 23 - we will go out and destroy Indiana Jones in the Box Office! We all know that Harrison Ford is older as my grandpa and his time is up!"

That's right, old people like Harrison Ford are no match for the likes of Zack "I have a billion credits listed on IMDB, but you have no idea who I am" Ward and Verne "Mini Me" Troyer. What's that? You say that even though Harrison Ford is old, Steven Spielberg might be able to put together a watchable flick? Hahahaha, you sir, are a moron! Right Uwe?

"Spielberg gets sloppy. We saw that with War of the Worlds (why the **** the older brother survived?) and also in parts of Jaws, E.T., Munich etc.! My performance in Postal as 'Nazi Theme Park Owner' outperforms easily Ben Kingsley in Schindler's List!"

YEAH! Stupid Sir Ben Kingsley and your lame knighthood and your stupid Oscar! You've got nothing on my man Uwe and his two Razzie award nominations. Who wants to be a knight and wear all that stupid armor anyway?

Here's the bottom line: When you go to the movies on May 23rd be sure to remember that Postal > Indiana Jones. Hey, at least you won't have to worry about a crowded theater...