Just watching an old rerun of Kelly Osborne - Turning Japanese, on ITV1, within which won't-admit-she's-hot-but-secretly-you-would Kelly Osborne bumbles her way through Japanese culture trying her darnest not to offend everyone she comes across (in todays episode she laughed in the face of a Buddist priest).

But the music to it, (I Think I'm) Turning Japanese by The Vapours can actually be interpretted to signify masturbating (just think of the face you pull at...your happiest moment).

Anyway, it's 0:36am and I still need to write 4 pages on something I have less than a paragraph of material on.