Amyok / Member

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How to annoy everyone

  • 1. Pay tolls with $100 bills
  • 2. When giving directions, leave out a turn or two
  • 3. Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April
  • 4. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons
  • 5. Knock and ask "How is it going?" to someone constipated in a public bathroom stall.
  • 6. Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of lines
  • 7. Announce when you're going to the bathroom
  • 8. Chew other people's pencils
  • 9. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
  • 10. Wear large hats during the movies
  • 11. Touch strangers
  • 12. Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus
  • 13. Bite your dentist's finger
  • 14. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
  • 15. Leave lipstick prints on people's cheeks and foreheads
  • 16. Don't stand during hymns and anthems
  • 17. Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa
  • 18. Tell people they have bad breath
  • 19. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
  • 20. Flirt with a friend's spouse
  • 21. Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team
  • 22. Shake with your left hand
  • 23. Use the quote bunnies after every other word you say when talking to someone.
  • 24. Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
  • 25. Drum on every available surface.
  • 26. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
  • 27. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
  • 28. Honk and wave to strangers.
  • 29. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
  • 30. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
  • 31. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
  • 32. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
  • 33. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
  • 34. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
  • 35. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
  • 36. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
  • 37. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
  • 38. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."