My father just told me the absolute best joke I've heard all year, and I thought, 'why not share it with everyone?' so here you go.

A man walks into a shrink's office. He tells the shrink "Doc, I've got this problem. I have this irrational fear that there's something under my bed just waiting to eat me after I fall asleep! Can you help me?" he begged. the doctor nodded and said, "Yes. it may take months, years, perhaps five sessions a week, but we will get through your fear." he told him. "Eh... how much does a session cost?" the man asked, uncertain. "$100." he told him. "ah... I'll think about it." he told the shrink.

Three weeks later, the shrink saw the man outside, downtown. he goes up to him and shakes his hand. "Say! how are you? You never did come back in after that first meeting." he commented. "Oh, that's nothing. I had my bartender find me a solution for ten bucks." he explained. "10 bucks?" asked the shrink. "yeah!" exclaimed the man. "See, he told me to saw off the legs to my bed. there aint nuthin' living under there now!"