Try to hide your obvious joy at my return... no really. Well, back at school now, and therefore back on the internet. Not much happened over the holidays, I worked, I bought Kingdom Hearts, and I spent a ton of money on comics.

You ever hear of Death Note? Well you should read it, it's by far one of the best manga I've ever read, and trust me, I've read a lot of 'em. So I've pretty much followed this scedule.

Work.

Sleep.

Play video games.

Sleep.

Read manga.

Sleep.

And that's it, honest. Well, as honest as I've ever been. I suppose I could write a list of recommended reading, that'd be interesting. Lesse...

-Petshop of Horrors

-Gravitation

-Bleach

-Naruto

-DeathNote

-Kenshin

 -Lament of the Lamb

-Model

-Arcana

-Tarot Cafe'

-Saiyuki

-Saiyuki Reload

-Samurai Deeper Kyo

-Warriors of Tao

-The Demon Orroron

...

Well I suppose that' it for now, those are some of the best of the best, and I adore each one.

Good sweet Horus I think I’m ready to murder my English teacher.  I spent fourteen bloody friggin hours on my Macbeth Essay and I got sixty five percent on it, yet I got eighty on my outline! A friend of mine, who copied my bibliography, got three out of ten on it, while I received zero… And they’re the exact same one! ARRRRG!!!!! It just pisses me off to no end, I mean, is it really my fault that I’m not willing to put up with her **** and speak my mind. So she docks my marks whenever she gets the chance. That kind of prejudice just pisses me off so much I could scream! She’s always going on about being fair and so on and so fourth, but she’d the most racist prejudiced person I’ve even met.  

I find myself getting so angry, but I don’ want to continue like this, if I get too angry my emotions just, stop and I’m not normal anymore.  It’s like my life happens in third person after that breaking point. I know I’m not like other people, I know I could kill and that knowledge weighs heavily on me. I know I could choke someone and watch the life drain from their body, and it doesn’t really bother me. Is murder really such a bad thing? Sometimes I don’t think so, mostly because I know I’m capable of it.  Call me an inhuman wretch if you like, but it makes me, happy. Death is so much simpler than life is, I prefer the company of animals to people, and I think I’m going to jam a metal pipe through my teachers head. People like her don’t deserve an open casket funeral.

I must be a truly horrible person to think these things, but the man in my dream say’s it’s alright, that it doesn’t matter. I wish that I could fall asleep forever sometimes, fall into a world where no one hates me for thinking these things. I’ve been dreaming a lot lately, I think my entire life might be one long nightmare, because I’m starting to hear the man when I’m awake now, and that can’t be a good sign.

Crap, crap, crapidy crap, crap, and crap on toast! Don’t you just love it when a meddling family member (Who shall henceforth be referred to as A.M…. Aunt Meddle) well, don’t you hate it when they take a bad situation and make it even worse with their god damned good intentions? Well I do!

If you don’t know I walked out of my math classroom about a week ago and I have no intention of returning. Well, my Mom, who’s a teacher at the school, has gone out of her way to make my life a living hell, yay. Well, in an attempt to remedy the situation A.M. tried to talk to us about it, well, she talked, my Mom yelled and I kinda sat there looking like I’d swallowed a porcupine. Gods, I wish everyone would just leave me alone. Yes I screwed up, the **** hit the fan and I’ve currently got the temperament of a dragon, but no one should give a **** except for me, it’s me life and I’ll damn well **** it up if I want to!

So of course now we have to attend family counselling, whoop dee friggin do. Like that’ll achieve anything anytime soon.

To make matters worse my grandfather wants me to ‘grow up’ to become a doctor, pilot, lawyer or a banker. None of which are even remote options for me.

Situation ‘A’ Doctor:

Me: Heh, uhh, has anyone seen my watch? No? Well crud. Heh heh, well bucko. It looks like you’ll be setting off your fair share of airport metal detectors.”

Situation ‘B’ Pilot

 Me: Welcome aboard ladies and gentlemen, now uhh, did anyone happen to notice if we filled up with gas before this thing took off? Naw, I’m just joking with ya… Wait, what’s that red light mean? Does that say empty? Aww crud.

Situation ‘C’ Lawyer

Me: ZzzzzZzzzzzZzzzz Oh, uhhh, the defence states that, erm… HE DIDN’T DO IT!!! Erhem, yes, the defence rests.

Situation ‘D’ Banker

Okay, well, to anyone who doesn’t know I suffer from a chemical unbalance in my brain. This causes anxiety attacks and chronic depression (go me).

So for the past three and a half weeks I’ve stopped taking my meds because I’m tired of them dictating my personality. So I’ve been a tad, edgy of late, and my edgy I of course mean that I walked out of my Math classroom which, in hindsight, probably wasn’t too smart. I’m just tired of being made to feel like an idiot because I don’t know concepts, I mean, I can’t remember my flippin locker combination over the summer an they expect me to remember the formula for like eighty different things, yeah right.  

Well my Mom, who teaches at my school, came home in tears saying how embarrassing I was and how she wanted to drive off a cliff, well sorry for **** up her life! I’m just tired, my heart causes my actual pain (Suppose I should have that looked into). Well, my Mom started to threaten to take away Japan (I’m going there for a year) What she doesn’t seem to realize is that if she took away Japan I’d kill her, people who don’t know me will think I’m joking, even people who know me might think I’m joking, well if she takes Japan away from me they can explain how they thought I was joking to the cops.

I'm just sick of it, of everything I wish I could just fall away from it all and never stop, because it's not the fall I'm afraid of, it's what's waiting at the bottom for me.

Well, once again I'm at school, it's lunch so I'm not missing any class time. My next class is math and you can guess how thrilled I am about that. I feel useless in that class, it might as well be in another language for all I care, then at least it might be interesting. The only classes I actually like going to are Physics and Art. As mentioned in an earlier blog I don't know what I want to do with my life, maybe a tattoo artist, just so long as it's interesting. I've never been very good at sitting around and doing nothing, that might be why I dislike class so damn much.

Luckilly tommorrow is friday, and despite the fact that I have an exam in one of my classes, it is the last day of the work week, and I don't work till saturday so I'm free to play all day long. YAY! And to sweeten the deal Halloween is coming on Monday! Wohoo! The best holiday of the year is coming up, I've still got a few last minute touches to my coustume to make, but it's almost done. CANDY! I'm bringing a few friends over, She-Geek included to watch horror classics, such as Army of Darkness, which is one of my favs to this day, I dunno why, it just is. We'll pass the time with movies, candy, scaring people, candy, pumpkin carving, candy... did I mention Candy. I'm a bit of a sugar freak around this time of year, it's something my family is still waiting for my to grow out of. 

I really should start working on my english Assignment, but it's so dull. We're working on Macbeth and if I had any intention whatsoever of becoming an English Major I might start to pay attention in class. So far I've learnt nothing in this class that I didn't already know.

Don't get me started on Math, I feel like such an idiot in that class, last year I had a teacher who was awesome, and now i'm stuck with a Mr. Potato head look alike. I don't even know what I want to do with  my life, and frankly, I don't want to decide right now.

Games I should get for GBA.

-Riviera

-Baldur's Gate; Dark Alliance

Okay, no much of a list, but I sold most of my games a while back and i'm hoping to build up a collection again. So far I only have three left, not that it matters much seeing as how She-Geek has my GBA, and my favorite GBA game Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones.  

Woe is me and my lack of Jak X. A friend of mine has the game and I've had to make due simply by listening to her account of the game. :cry:

Well other than the complete and total lack of meaning in my life I'm okay. She-Geek is this friend, she and I are also writing a story, however futher information results in a death penalty. It's all super top secret 'n' stuff.

To all who care, namely no one, I don't know what She-Geek and I are going to do come February, I'm leaving to go to Japan for a year and I'm not sure if we can survive on e-mail contact alone. However I have promised to keep her updated on gaming updates and systems from there. So far my pitiful gaming collection is growing at an agonizingly slow rate, and Amplitude can only do so much. Then there's the new Ratchet and Clank game, and I still haven't beaten the first one, I can't manage to get rid of the planet destroyer, and it's driving me nuts, well, more so than I already am.

Crap, my first class of the day starts soon, it's art and I need to work on my Physics, let's just hope the teach doesn't kill me before I get a change to play a few more games.