A couple of weeks ago, I decided to start up Battlefield 3 and hop into a Gunmaster server to have a few quick games. During the bout, I had a good run going and managed to win or almost win several matches. Eventually, this drew the ire of an irate gamer who wasn't very happy with my performance. Now normally, battlefield isn't the shooter that has been labelled as a lair for trolls and misfits, but it does have it's fair share. This individual wasn't to the point of being an open flamer, but he was certainly somewhat acidic in his demeanour. He expressed two issues, sometimes with a less than pleasant tone, with having me in the match.
His first issue was that my presence in the game reduced the level of enjoyment of the game for everyone else. His reasoning was that having one person do really well meant others did not have a chance to win, thereby making the match moot for others. Admittedly, I could understand where he was coming from with this; having been on the receiving end of this situation, I can understand how frustrating it can be. However, beyond leaving the game (which I did offer to do if people wanted) there is not much that can be done about this. I don't normally do as well as I was, but even if I did, it is difficult for one to actively choose how well one performs. Ultimately though, this point, while important, was less surprising and certainly less impacting upon me than his second.
His/her second point was regarding my behaviour for the match. When I play battlefield, I tend to be fairly talkative. I also tend to congratulate people if they do something skillful, like knifing me, or shooting well. In this match, I was cheering people on if they managed to knife me or take me down, particularly players who were having a harder time. This player felt that by doing so, I was actually riding on my 'high horse' and was belittling others by congratulating them. This was a perspective that I had not even conceived of, so when he/she said it, it startled me. Yet, while a perspective I had yet to consider, I could completely understand it; if a player was doing poorly, perhaps having a player currently doing well congratulate them for taking them down would be seen as an insult.
I told this individual that my intentions were never to insult other players through my actions; I was merely attempting to be friendly and urge people on. However, this individual stated (and rightly so), that regardless of my intentions, it was up to the perspective of the individual receiving my messages to decide if they were encouraging or insulting. Considering his/her views, I told them that if they considered my actions to be offensive in this way, then I would stop messaging them in the chat to congratulate them. However, in light of his/her perspective, I would continue to congratulate others, but I would also attempt to determine if such comments were unwanted from the recipient. If so, I would then cease to congratulate them in the future.
Ultimately, this was the end of the discussion, but, in addition to my revelation about my actions, there was another important event that occurred over the course of the conversation. Towards the beginning of the conversation, this individual was fairly hostile in their demeanour . However, as the conversation progressed, the individual became more approachable to converse with. When I eventually left the server and ended my gaming session, the individual even said good bye (happy emoticons included).
In many cases, amongst many people, this situation may have quickly devolved into a flaming troll fest between the two individuals. But by talking about our perspectives and reasonings, we came to a resolution that resulted in us not just being tolerable of each other, but actually somewhat amicable.
Ultimately, my experience here demonstrates two important messages that I think need to be remembered by our gaming community, which has developed an unfortunate reputation of having a population where argumentative behaviour is rife. It shows that people out there having widely varying perspectives; what you believe to be true or proper may not be in someone else's eyes. As a result, we need to remain open-minded and mindful of our actions, yet also understanding and appreciative of the views of those we share our gaming experiences with. My experience also demonstrates that we need not be so combative to each other, both when communicating our displeasure with the views or actions of another, or in responding to the negatively charged correspondences of others towards us. By maintaining an open, accepting perspective and maintaining civil communication, we can avoid much of the hostile attitudes that seem to pervade our gaming community today.
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