Cats RULE the world.

Not the self-indulging and egotistical world that we humans call our own. Noooo, I mean the real world. That world that no one wants to talk about, let alone come to terms with.

I'm refering of course to the world of sensuality, of the lewd and lascivious. Filled to the brim with those carnal desires that we try so hard to ignore. That red earthy haze suffocating the living and defiling the dead.

Can EVERYONE else feel that?!

I personally think that my feline companion has already planned my life according to her personal decorum and now lives in comfortable security, knowing that whatever actions I take, it was because she wanted them to be taken.

Of course, when I suggested this to my family's physician, the doctor I mean. My friend Shane actually thought a physician was someone you payed to physically assualt you. I'm serious.

But moving on.

When I suggested that my cat was actually a maniacal, megolomaniac that was plotting my life and more than likely had access to nuclear weapons, all I recieved in return was a blank stare and a "I hope my shift ends soon" look.

I hate that look by the way.

Do I look like a **** fruitcake you piece of **** I am NOT a fruitcake!

I'm...IN YOUR EYES!!! Kylie Minogue eat your freaking heart out!

And of course, when I left the doctor's that day I just happened to steal his car keys and drop them in his nurse's purse that she just decided to leave in plain view on the main counter.

Oh...what I would have given to see her face when she discovers her bosses keys in her purse. The akwardness it would bring!

The HORROR!

However, that would not diminish the immense feeling of paranoia that continues to develop whenever I pass by my housecat. It's like she's waiting for that precise moment, when she can just utterly annihilate all that I know and love.

What I need to know is if that is just a normal, hormonal growing side-effect and it will eventually pass or if my cat really just wants to drag me through hell and farther down.

(First blog in a while and more shall follow. OH YEAH!)