Last blog was Slap by Ludacris. Eric got it. I even let you guys google it!I feel the need to make people smile. Here's a taste of the randomness that is my life...away from the computer. I know I've posted some of these before, but whatever :roll:

Loki: Her kids looked like planets

Loki: I have Hepititas C...

Me: How the f*ck did you get that? Should you be outside?!?!

Me: I have to unf*ck what you've f*cked up

Loki: I pissed on the couch and stairs: I love you

SAD: When life hands you lemons, throw them mutherf*ckers back and be like "I don't want your sh!t lemons life!!!!"

Me: Why do things keep biting you?
Loki: Its cuz I'm tasty.

Me: The next time I slap someone I'm gonna scream "YOU'VE JUST BEEN STARBUCKED!!"

Michelle: When did life get complicated
Ian: It didn't. We got older.

Bones (on TV): What are we missing?
Monkey Lady: A good plot maybe?

*on the phone*
Kevin: Why is TV stupid?
Me: because stupid people watch tv *changes channel*

*Sliding repeatedly in the living room on the wood floors*
Me: *bust my ass*
Dad: *drops phone* :lol::cry::lol:

*awkward silence on the phone*
Loki: GEORGE HAS KILLED US ALL

Loki: tell me about Stella's problems 'cause she be going through it!
Me: Well...she was an orphan and...um...she was stalked for a bit...she was held captive in her own apartment by her crazy ass ex-boyfriend...she was recently in a fire...Oh and she thought she had AIDs at one point...
Loki: You know what? Stop. Where is the Stella Support thread, she needs my support

Donna: I think Q is a retarded letter

Donna: ants! Show me your frikkin trail
Michelle: Are you turning into a dictator of the ants?

Me: how ya doing Pat?
Sibling Unit S: I'm grrrrrrreat
Me: Like frosted flakes?

Loki: *imitating Dr. Phil* Two birds sitting in a tree and one falls out and drowns

Boss: I owe you so big Leilani. If you ever need anything...like if you need me to raise your first born child, I will
Me: :shock:
Boss: your mom didn't tell you how crazy I am, did she?
Me: Just answer me this; should I be nervous?
Boss: Yes.
Me: consider me nervous

Me: I made some friends today
Mom: Oh yeah? Where?
Me: :D online
Mom: I need you to make friends I can meet
Me: what fun is that?

*long silence on the phone*
Me: *hurts self* ITS NOT UR FAULT B!TCH!!
Loki: Um...Leilani?
Me: YES! WHAT?!?
Loki: you know what...nevermind

Me: You giggle like Winnie the Pooh
Loki: Dammit...you...that hurt my feelings

Me: We cant use cattin' off anymore
Loki: I know...
Me: Yeah...when gramma starts using it, its just not okay anymore

Monkey Lady: I wanna egg her house
Me: Do you have any idea how many eggs you would need for that. Never mind that, the cost of eggs has gone up! Why waste expensive eggs on someone's house???
*long pause*
Monkey Lady: Are you on your period?
Me: F*ck you

Me: Did you just say 'french asian'?
Loki: :lol: *in french accent* French asian
Me: *repeats*
Loki: Dude...franjanjan
Me: that sounds like kill for fun in a different language
Loki: How would we use it in a sentence?
Me: I got it. Horatio franjanjan

Me: Apparently I'm a music whore.
Loki: what can I be a whore of?
Me: Everything else

Loki: What's the ship for Catheine and Warrick?
Me: YoBling
Loki: Why the f*ck is it called Yobling?
Me: Dude, we just accept it
Loki: And we don't ask questions?
Me: We don't ask questions

Me: Dude! My father has lost his mind! He put me on punishment and I can't close my door.
Loki: what?
Me: He won't let me close my effin door! What am I supposed to do while taking a sh!t? Just leave the door open? What about the shower? Hm? Or changing clothes?!?! WTF am I supposed to do then?
Loki: you should sh!t with the door open and maybe the smell would make him change his mind

Loki: VE MUST VISPA!!!

Me: *pointing at some guy* You know who he reminds me of?
Loki: Johnny Cage
Me:...that's not what I was going to say but yea he does

Me: My mom is retarded.
Loki: What happened now
Me: you know how I don't sleep and stay on the computer. Well, she 'caught' me and said that my bedtime is midnight.
Loki: that is retarded
Me: you're not following me; my curfew is still 1am.
Loki: Wherever you just so happen to be at 12:01 you better be asleep
Me: How the hell am I going to get home before my curfew?!?!
Loki: You know what this reminds me of? When your dad wouldn't let you close your door

Loki: Story of my life, I'm the main character but I'm uninteresting

Me: hello my name is retarded and I'm Leilani's best friend
Loki: what are you trying to say?

Happy hunting ;)