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I'm ending my month-long fake woman thing. It got boring.

Okay, here's the truth Not really.
I'm really a girl. A girl with a vagina. Nope, I'm a dude.

Early in 2004, I asked God when the world will end. I didn't get an answer right away, but I knew He would tell me. The next day, when I checked my mail, I got a strange letter.

The envelope was blank. When I opened it and read the letter, I thought it was a joke. It said, 'In 2005. First a plague will rot away the flesh of some and drive them insane. Then beings from elsewhere will kill them and any normal man they find. After they leave, a flash of bright light will mean the end of man. Anyone who lives to that day will get access to paradise."

I threw it away and didn't think of it until August of 2005. I was watching television, when a news report came on. "We are here in Times Square where a man just murdered another," said the reporter. "He pushed the other man to the ground and literally ate his face."

the next few entries will be it.

They are everywhere! You may not believe me but I see them! OH GOD! THEY ARE COMING THIS WAY! Okay, I fought off these ones with my magical cheese sword. I must display this crackbaby panda's head on my door as a trophy. Maybe it will keep them away. OH NO! THEY BROUGHT GUNS! I'M HIT! MY LEGS! THEY ARE EATING MY LEGS! OH GOD! AAAAH! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! I'm going to die. I want you all to know... Wait, If I am supposed to give the image that I died while typing this how will the ... be pressed and how would I scroll down and press "Submit entry"? Okay, I'll submit this BEFORE I die. I'll just say that I...

First you must remember to remain calm, noobs tend to attack on their own and they are weak on their own.
If you come across a group of noobs your best bet is to run.
If you decide to take on a noob you will need to get out your best flame thrower. Noobs are vulnerable to flame throwers because they are highly flamable bree of troll that dines on spam.
Also, don't get one of those cheap flame throwers. You may be thinking "It's all just flame!" But it's not. Certain types of flames are more effective against noobs.
If you use the flame thrower well enough the noob should surrender and you could then report it to animal control and they would take it away.

Remember, stay calm.

If zombies begin to enter your town/city you will need to stay calm.
At the first signs of a zombie infestation you will need to find something long and hard, like a baseball bat or a hockey stick.
Fine a vehicle that will be easy to use, safe, and can carry a lot of items like a van.
Drive to the nearest store and stock up on canned goods and water. Also get lots of light clothing that will rip if it gets caught on something. Do not go for something thick and heavy because it will slow you down and you will die.
Find another vehicle and use the hard item to bust it apart and thicken up your ride. You may want to pimp it out as well.
If you never used a gun before don't bother trying now because it would be too much of a risk.
Drive to a safe building and check out the inside and bash the brains of any zombies inside. Unload what is in your van into the building and then seal off the exits. Block off all the windows as well. Don't forget to take the radio out of the car so you can hear what is happening on the outside.
If you hear that an army force is coming to kill the zombies then wait until you hear shots outside and then open a door and yell for help.
If you hear that the city/town will be sealed off and then bombed in 24 hours then you will need to get in the car and leave as quickly as you can. If you see survivors let them in the van and ask if they got injured. If they got bit then kick them out.
When you get to the edge of the town/city keep driving until you get to safety. You would need to drive really far to get to where the zombies couldn't walk to.
If zombies already got to the nearest town then you will need to contact any and all survivors and try to kill or trap all of the beasts.

If you follow this guide well then you will be able to get out alive!

On the 'marrow we must strike fast. We send in the squads on at a time, Jedi first to weaken them. The Jedi stay out the entire time and protect the other squads. At some point they will attempt to use a ship to drop in on us so we will need something to distract them with some soldiers in pods ready to be shot inside the ship. After we take control of the ship they will send a series of larger ships after us. We would needto get a tech specialist or 2 to control the ship and fight off the attackers. After the ship is grounded they will send a large number of foot units to swarm out forces in which we will need to leave all the Jedi but 3 behind to protect our soldiers and the nuclearaddict and the 3 Jedis (me, sponge, berzz) will head through the swarm of aliens to the high commander and force them to surrender or die, the high commander being Prophet Yahweh. If they don't surrender then the vehicles will come in and destroy them. If they surrender then we capture Yahweh and imprison him and capture all surviving aliens on the planet. If it turns out that Yahweh isn't there commanding but rather another location then we retreat and find a place to hide out over night and figure out a plan for the next day.

Jedi army:
Sponge3164(leader) - Two sided saber

RedLion11206 - gets 2nd to top saber
Berzz - Saber that bnfb just posted
upstartwakka_10 - (gets outside saber
Bnfbnggbfg1 - Gets curvy saber
CO-1337 - GREEN lightsaber
talesofslayer - gets PINK second to bottom lightsaber
-one- - Blaster
lazygamer - Blaster
shortgunjunkie- imperial fighter
grungies- X- Wing
afalkoski2 - Tie Fighter
scarletrose- x wing
johncurry- Lightsaber
Wolfgang66- blue lightsaber
RedLion11206- Red lightsaber
Total_Sabotage- Green saber.
psp_best - Yellow saber
brentos37 - Purple saber
AznFlyBoi2 - Black saber
Fahrenheit1221 - Duel red sabers