Croteam has made only one game that matters to U.S. gamers: Serious Sam. Make no mistake, Serious Sam is stupid, stupid, stupid. You run around and kill stuff, usually harpies, headless suicide bombers, skeleton things, weirdo aliens, and other bizarre creatures. They come at you in hundreds, and your job is to shoot them en masse. The game is dumb; dumb and unusually satisfying! You would think that after killing your thousandth demon-like creature that it'd get repetitive, but it doesn't. You dole out punishment with a zen-like efficiency that leaves you with a sense of accomplishment and inner calm. Oh, and you save the world. The only thing missing is Shia LaBeouf.
[video=cHZnljut5bsEuzHY]
A perfect example of cIassic Serious Sam gameplay. Highly intellectual stuff.
The thing is: It's okay to be stupid. It's okay to be the third expansion of the eighth sequel so long as the game is fun to play. Every title doesn't have to introduce revolutionary new gameplay. Sure, you can argue that Wolfenstein 3D, Doom, Goldeneye 007, Quake, and Halo and are all completely different games, but at the end of the day the goal is to look your enemy in the eye and blow it out the back of his (or her) head. Or shoot them in the back. Or the crotch (weirdo). Sometimes there's a bunch of plot, you have to acquire a keycard, pass a checkpoint, or destroy a particular asset; but in most first-person shooters you've still got to mow down your enemies be it with a sniper rifle, minigun, or OMGLZRBEAMS.
Unreal Tournament 3 isn't a whole hell of a lot different from Unreal Tournament unless you consider the loss of "double-jumping" revolutionary. Once you figure out how to move around and press the left and right mouse buttons to fire, you're combat-ready for the most part. Everything afterwards is refinement, skill, and eye-candy. But I love eye candy!
Sure they're basically the same, but which would you rather play?
When Epic Games inevitably releases its fourth Unreal Engine, followed closely by a new Unreal Tournament title to showcase its pretty, pretty ponies (not to mention milk my pocket), I'll be lined up for purchase because:
- After 8 - 12 hours in my cubicle, it's fun to mindlessly exterminate my enemies
- I like shiny new graphics.
- I like Unreal Tournament
- I'm good at its predecessors
Do not think I am referring only to FPS: The Command and Conquer series, The Sims, Marvel vs. Capcom, Gran Turismo, and all sorts of other genres aren't exactly breaking new ground, but I can still eke some enjoyment out of their new features, graphical updates, new songs, and other incremental improvements.
And to be quite frank, our wallets have spoken: We love stupid sequels. YOU love stupid sequels, and it's okay to love them, even the mediocre ones; you're in good company. After all, so long as you're having fun, what do you care what anyone else thinks?
-Disclosure-
Opinions and speculation of and by Bozanimal are his own and not those of Gamespot.com or its affiliates. Bozanimal is not a Gamespot employee, and is not affiliated with any gaming companies in any way.
Several links within this article may lead to external sites. Neither Bozanimal nor host Gamespot.com or affiliates are responsible for the content of those sites.