The Note-Taker He comes into the bathroom with a pad of paper under his arm and a pen in his pocket, approaches the urinal, unzips, and gets to business. Even though he is a serious violator of bathroom etiquette, I cannot help but be impressed by and pity The Note-Taker. As soon as he opens stream, he lets go the steering column and furiously scribbles on his notepad. What job do you have that is so important you need to take notes while urinating standing up? Is he not working; are the notes personal? Is he cataloguing color (pale), direction (20 degrees left), and power (one teaspoon per second)?

The Note-Taker might have been given an exemption from "Violator" status if he would only wash his hands after using the john. Sadly, he does not.

The Stairmasters The Stairmasters are multiple violators, and you are unlikely to have met them. You see, I work in a skycraper on the 15th floor. We have a nice bathroom on fifteen; nothing special, but it is clean. The 16th floor employees have a cr@ppy, shared bathroom with separate businesses. So what does The Stairmaster do?

The Stairmaster travels a flight of stairs to take care of his private business. This might be impressive, considering the laziness of the average American. Unfortunately, it is merely an excuse to not do work, travel a flight of stairs (which eats up time), and hit our far superior break room for some coffee, tea, soda, or all of the above. I might not care if, in the midst of a call of nature, every stall and urinal was not full of employees that work in a different division. But what am I going to do, tell them to leave?

The Noisemaker You guys, and you know who you are, insist on making every sound that the human body is capable of at the urinal, when all you really need to do is take a leak. You cough, spit into the receptical, fart, and yawn, all while going "Number One" into the tiny pool of water in the urinal. The bathroom is like a gym locker, and you are given some leeway for making these noises while therein, but not in combination.

The Librarian "You've been in there for 20 minutes, what's going on?"
Silence.
"I can hear you turning the pages, some of us gotta go!"
Silence. Turns page.
"Man, this isn't a library!"
Paper shuffling.

Bathroom etiquette Violators are everywhere, and they do not care what you think. You might be drunk late at a bar at the urinal and have another guy tap your shoulder, you might be alone in a McDonald's on the highway only to have someone stand next to you at a long row of urinals, or you might just have some creepy guy take a peek; so watch out.

Kudos to you if you got the "throne" joke earlier in the entry.