Perpetual Homeless - This guy has been in the same spot on the same street for the past three years (at least). He is a faily normal looking guy with clothes in good repair, he does not smell, and holds conversation with the multitude of people he has obviously known for some time. I see him every day and he still asks for money. Every day I ignore him, yet every day he asks me for spare change.
Spare Change Guy - This guy is infamous in Boston. Sadly, he is severely handicapped, though it didn't stop Fox News from allowing him to host a few television spots. Good call, Fox, leveraging the mentally disturbed (not to mention homeless) for some ratings, you morons! Anyway, this guy asks everyone for spare change, and without remorse, will take your donation, turn around, and buy a lottery ticket. Seriously, he'll stand in front of a convenience store, take handouts, and buy scratchoff tickets. It would be hysterical if it was not so poingently sad.
Tourists - I am infinitely forgiving of tourists, even though I am always the guy they ask for directions. You see, everyone is a tourist sometimes, and sometimes while traveling we all need help. Boston needs its tourists, and I am always happy to point someone in the right direction. What I am not happy about, is the self-entitled, elitist yuppie snobs that blow into town and get angry when they bump into residents. We know where we are going, you do not, show some respect!
Listerine Guy - This homeless man is completely trashed from drinking Listerine from the CVS across the street into excess. He is asking me for money, but I am not sure he really knows he is even asking. His smell would be repulsive if not for his minty fresh breath.
Save the Planet Guy/Girl - This tree-hugging volunteer approaches everyone that walks by to ask them if they care about the planet/whales/puppies/trees/animal cruelty/dead babies/whatever; but they will always drop what they are doing to talk to me. I am a magnet for these people.
"Do you care about the right of gays to marry in Massachusetts?"
Well of course I care, but who knows who is sponsoring their survey, if my signature will be misappropriated, my identity stolen, or other insidious use of my name. Besides, I am tired of all the junk mail I get from friends of Greyhound Dogs (how about focusing our efforts on human beings, war, hunger, poverty, disease, education and the only planet that supports our meager lives before pet projects), The Smile Train (wasteful use of donations on national advertising), and the Somerville Divestment Project (are they joking? what a waste of time, Somerville had $250,000 in Israeli bonds, a drop in the bucket). I never, ever sign petitions anymore. Ever.
The Not-Homeless Homeless Guy - This man has a home. He might even have a wife and kids. Every day, though, he is out soliciting hard-working men and women for money. Why? He's lazy. You might think I am exaggerating, but there are people out there that are begging you for money simply because they do not feel like doing anything. They just want to live off of the system, and take advantage of hard-working people. These people are more rare than most, since 29% have a mental health problem, 38% alcohol problem, and 26% a drug problem.
Honest Guy - He is going to buy booze with your money, and he does not mind letting you know. He figures that honesty is the best policy, and does well collecting cash from the college crowd, particularly men who find it amusing. He should know by now I will not give him cash, but he is so brazen as to be almost admirable.
The Traveler - I would think people would have stopped falling for this con a long time ago. This man - homeless or not - wants your money. He just needs a few bucks for train fare to get home. Somehow, this man has become trapped in the city with no money or ability to transport himself home, and just needs a couple buck from me. I had one guy tap my shoulder while I was listening to my MP3 player to the following:
"Hey, man, you're the first white guy that didn't run away from me." He was black, obviously, but why would I have run away because of that? Are people in Boston really that racist?
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, seriously. Look, you from Boston?"
"Yes."
"Aw, man, cool. Look, I just need a couple bucks for train fare back to Worcester, man, you know what I'm sayin'? My car got towed downtown and I ain't got cash to get home, but nobody believes me!"
"Right."
"So, uh, can I borrow some cash, man?"
"No, I don't carry cash." This was a true enough response, as I do not usually carry cash; my credit card gets me by. "But good luck with that."
The Traveler will often be carrying a gas can, as well. He might just need five bucks in his tank to get home; his car is empty up the street far enough I cannot see. Convenient.
The Woman - Every once in a while I see a homeless person that is a woman. This does not happen often, but when it does I always wonder why. I know it sounds a bit strange, but it seems odd to me that a woman would ever be forced onto the street and unable to get back off. I guess I just always find women to be more determined, resourceful, and optimistic than men. But hey, I guess it's just me.
Free Stuff Spokesmodel - These people won't talk to me.
After extensive analysis, I have come to the conclusion that I make too much eye contact, smile too often, and am just too darn friendly, in general. This makes me sad because I would like people to smile more often, but it also makes sense that most people look at their feet when walking along; they do not want to be suckered out of their hard-earned money by a grifter or impotent charity project; and they would be right.
Inspired by DawnBurn