For those readers that might be unaware, this author is fathering triplets, due March, via Dr. Boz. Bozanimal has three car seats, three high chairs, hundreds of diapers, and all sorts of "layette" (a pretentious word meaning baby stuff). This was completely unexpected, as the pregnancy was spontaneous, meaning without any fertility drugs or treatments. In fact, it happened in the first month of trying (that was a great month). As he thought back to how it was possible that his wife - with no history of twins, let along multiples - might have come into this situation, several explanations became possible:

Incredi-Sperm - Alas, though the author would like to believe himself more virile than the average member of the species, multiple births have nothing to do with the father, at least in fraternal sets. The mother releases multiple eggs, which are then fertilized, making it entirely her fault.

Offended the Lord - It is possible that some action or inaction has brought the scorn of the Almighty. Certainly one might look at the situation as a miracle and a blessing, but he or she would only be kidding themselves. God is angry with us, and we do not know why.

Lived Under Power Lines - Dr. Boz lived underneath powerlines as a child. Somehow the high voltage energy crackling over her head on a daily basis exuded a power over her womb unrivaled by peers. This is unlikely, as most of the theories concerning high voltage lines near residences have been debunked, much like how Gamma Radiation and the the X-Gene do not provide superhuman abilities.

Pheromones of Power - Dr. Boz has a personal theory that the author exudes a powerful pheromone that causes enhanced ovulation. He has done nothing to dissuade a theory that says, "Boz emanates a powerful chemical that attracts women and makes them fertile." In fact, he is inclined to believe the former of the theory without argument.

Desecrated the Fertility Goddess - Alas, all of the above theories are all well and good, but it was the desecration of an icon of the Fertility Goddess that brought her wrath. Several years ago Bozanimal and his wife purchased a fertility Goddess for her brother, who was trying to get his own wife pregnant. The following year the Goddess was regifted, but modified with a set of lights. The process of modifying and regifting the Goddess continued until the most recent year, when the brother made the Goddess mobile. You will likely agree that her desecration brought her scorn when you view the results:

The Modified Goddess of Fertility