For me, a hot tub should be more than just a romantic getaway for a couple or place to relax after a long day, even if those are its primary purposes. It should also be a whirlpool of sin and an invitation to debauchery and gratutitous nudity for (hot) non-relations. (Hot) friends and (hot) strangers alike should shed their clothing and leap in for cheap trills and adult merriment while splashing champagne over the edges and giggling in child-like glee, trying to hide their naughty bits below the bubbles.
You think the sign was too much?
Sadly - but perhaps not surprisingly - this has been lacking. There has been nary a bare female or male teat since its acquisition, excluding the owners. Some of this is my own fault. It is difficult for someone who is obsessively clean and paranoid to host a party, let alone a drunken bash that might end with anything approaching depravity. When your mind is focused on preventing guests from spilling wine on the carpets and watching the attending kleptomaniac like a hawk to protect your DVD collection, it can be tough to cut loose and enjoy yourself. That, and being in bed by ten o'clock kind of kills the evenings, and definitely makes the likelihood of two (hot) topless women making out in the frothing pool a practical impossibility.You would expect at least some gratuitious nudity in the hot tub of a Phi Sigma Kappa brother, and a former social chair to boot, but there it is: he has become a homeowner and a father, and therefore kinda lame. Will he be doomed forever to a life of stories from his college years? Or are there still a few wild nights of joyous regrets and swinging for the fences ahead? Only time will tell, but he can think of three reasons anything other than a quiet night is unlikely to happen in his hot tub.