I've put both the A Few Days as a Level Editor: Day Two and the PGR4 DLC Review back a few days cause of a few reasons. One is that the PGR4 Website, PGRNations.com is not working well for me. All six of my photos won't appear, while I've uploaded them from my Xbox a few times already. And Photobucket.com refuses to upload my screenshots. So, I'll sit both out.

Third reason is that a friend of mine, who's name is Jim Vinken had gone missing recently. I know Jim ever since I moved to the United States. He's also a great friend as he is roughly my age, and we have alot in common. About two years ago, he told me about his then-secret, depression. Ever since he told me, he was more open about it. But he was really flatout down. He had some really heavy medicine to keep him up.

Those meds could've been cocaine for all I care, cause whenever he didn't took 'em. It was as if I was talking a sinking ship. He, like me lives alone. There's been tons of times when he forgot to take his meds, and ran off and didn't return for half a month later.

This time, it was different. Last Friday, the last time I saw him. He was in a good mood. He drove by my house and gave me from what it now means, his way of saying farewell. He told me the truth, that he was noticing that the meds didn't do it anymore. And he was just sick of life. I gave him a speech...

"I can wish you goodluck, I can say goodbye. But what the hell does it matter? Life's a s***tcan with half a lid, and wether you cut your troat right now, or die of some disease fifty years from now, it doesn't matter. When you end your pain, a world of pain starts for us.

If Life's such a pain in the ass for you, you can do two things. You can give us the s***ttiest time of our lives by killing yourself, or you can move on and see back upon this time as "Damn, was I f***ed up back then or what!?" You can look back, together with us.

Looking back at things is gold, looking into the future like some f***in' black cloud is just killing yourself slowly.

All I can ask from you as friend is to pull through, and just think of it as a period you won't see happening again anymore on your calender. Think of us, and yourself. Pulling through is a much wiser decision on the long run. And you know that."

I also gave that same speech to a local Gamespotter who's life's been rough lately. I guess for the sake of privacy, I should refrain from naming the fella'. But I think people who noticed my comment know damn well who I am talking about.

The outcome was him agreeing with me. He said we would get new medication soon and his recent girlfriend's been really good for him. All in all, I thought I talked him out of his own ideas. After about an hour, he left. Saturday at noon, Jim's mother called me and she was crying. She told me that the New Jersey state patrol found Jim lying in a ditch next to the road. Dead.

Monday morning his mother called me again. From what the bloodtests told, he had injected himself with 6 morphine-injections before passing out facedown next to the road. The New York Police found his car deserted, with the cardoors open somewhere in the middle of New York City. From what it appears Jim walked from Riverside, New York. all the way to Plainfield, New Jersey. Plain autopsy revealed that after injecting himself with enough morphine to put three elephants down, he passed out and was impossible of ever waking up again.

The basic statement was; He was tired of life.

Jim welcomed me to America, and was a real close buddy over time. He arranged a place to work, and someone to screw around with. Not to mention, he was the one with the "CD Frisbee" idea. Jim was like me, nineteen years old. Too damn young to give up on life already. I just express it in a blog, cause for the sake of family, I can't give them another burden of me crying my guts out. They lost their son, and that's already enough.

Rest in peace, pal.