Y'know, to be frank. It's sort-of a personal blog. Hell, it is a personal blog. But you gotta admit, it feels good vending it all. Knowing that someone else outthere knows that the American Dream is the biggest and best kept lie ever made up.

Basics incase you just know me as that guy.

I'm from New York City, I'm nineteen, live on my own, on Manhattan Island. Oh yeah, I'm also considered an immigrant, without any eductation whatsoever.

What does that tell about me? Im living on the crappy jobs on immigrants can get, like Mexicans, Cubans, or even in my case, Dutch. I can get better jobs, but since as I have homeschooled myself - I don't have a degree. I live on Manhattan Island, the most expensive place to live.

The place I live in now can be considered The Bronx cause of it's run-down services, compared to looking five miles down south, where five-star hotels sit on every corner. Inwood is truely, the ass end of Manhattan. Where you end up because there's nothing vacant in the Bronx, or cause you just can't afford the high-price of Manhattan's southern cl.ass.

Hell, ask anyone. Does anyone even know Inwood? Four out of five will correct me for Inglewood, Los Angeles. Sure, they know Washington Heights - The true hellhole of Manhattan, nothing good can be found there. The fact that I live in a good-for-nothing neighborhood isn't the real issue. The fact of matter that my rent is fourhundred more a month than the same residential buildings a mile north into the Bronx.

Why is that? Because the ground of Manhattan, costs more than the building grounds of the Bronx.

Now, I'll bet you're wondering why I didn't stay in Brooklyn. The reason why I moved out on such an young age(17) was because of the constant fighting between me and my mother. One time she pushed the limit, I packed up, and stayed with a friend who lives in Manhattan.

At some point I couldn't stay anymore, and had to be out of his place within a month. So, I took the first oppertunity of a place to stay for granted. Which was a three-room apartment on Inwood, Manhattan. I had just enough money to get the first month of rent paid off. So the same guy who I lived with a month before, he hooked me up with a job, working as Internet Engineer.

Then a year after he fired me. And since I was an immigrant, finding a new job in a 15-million city was pretty ****ing hard. See, my dad's in the Navy. He settled in the Netherlands for ten years. Which is where I was born. In 1999 we all moved to the U.S, I was 11 at the time.

So, growing up without education. And being a Dutch born. Results in me being unable to get a decent job. The chances are so slim, that I'll have to haggle like my life's depending on it. I figured it all would be easy, as I could simply pay for my drivers ed. With no strings attached.

... So, I ended up at UPS. Doing the "off the beaten path" routes. The detours actual UPS drivers refuse to take. Meaning I'll have to drive 600 miles through New York City and Orange/Winchester Counties, just to deliver half a truck of packages.

In the end, I live a circle. I make just enough money to pay my bills, rent and my food. Leaving me with around 150 bucks to make myself happy. Games, books, pay-per-view, a nice present for my girlfriend. Etc. Sometimes, I make less. Especially during the summer, when people just don't send alot.

I don't make enough money to arrange transport to get my stuff elsewhere, to start a new rent deed somewhere else, to begin a new life elsewhere.

Basically, I'm stuck living like I do now.

And for some reason, even while living the miserable life that I do. Just waiting for that sole goddamn oppertunity to get out of this hellhole I call America - I can't get depressed. Strange huh? Exactly why my girlfriend loves me - Nothing brings me down, and giving me all your problems and frustrations makes anyone feel better.

Meh, sometimes I wish I could get depressed. So someone would actually help me dragging my sorry ass out of this miserable nightmare; The American Dream.