College acceptance letters for the Universities of California started coming out this month. I just got my acceptance for the University of California, San Diego :D I'm glad that I know I'll be going somewhere at least. But with this, like many of the accomplishments in my life, I can't let myself be completely happy. I'm definitely proud of myself for getting in, but I don't feel like I deserve it since I'm transferring from a community college and it's 1000 times easier than getting in out of high school. I feel like I'm taking a spot from a high school senior who probably deserves it a lot more. But screw them! If I got accepted then it means I deserve to attend!

I'm still waiting to hear from UC Santa Barbara, Irvine, and Los Angeles. I wouldn't really say I'm waiting for LA though since I have no chance in hell of getting in. If I get into UCSB then I'm going to have a tough time deciding between that and UCSD. Not a single person I know wants me to go to SB because they don't think its my type of school, but I really want to go. There have been many times in my life where I haven't done something I wanted to do because other people would react negatively (I don't mean like I wanted to rob a house and people said no. Small innocent stuff). That's something I need to work on

I'm getting pissed off by the quality of sleep I've been getting lately. It seems like no matter how tired I am, I don't fall asleep unless I lay in bed for an hour. But when I woke up today I wanted to throw a fit. Have you ever had a good amount of sleep, only to wake up and feel like your head just hit the pillow 5 minutes ago? The feeling doesn't happen to me often but when it does I just feel like crap. Its like my body is telling me "Your day is going to suck horribly. I wouldn't even bother getting out of bed." Then again, I've never woke up with a hangover so maybe it isn't the worst feeling possible :P

I just got an e-mail from my ISP saying they received a notice from a copyright enforcement company (BayTSP). Apparently something was downloaded illegally through my connection. I sorta flipped out when I saw the subject of the email cuz I didn't know what kind of penalty could come with it. I don't want my parents to go to jail! :cry: I guess all I had to do was respond to the company and tell them that I've removed the material. The email stated that the illegal item that was downloaded is "Law Abiding Citizen." I don't download movies so I checked with my cousin. He told me he had downloaded it a few days ago so I just told him to delete it from his computer and all is good...right?

Which means I'm feeling down. So I've been in three "relationships" (don't really know what I should call them) and if I added up the length of all three it would equate to about 3-4 weeks. Yep. 3 girls, 3 weeks. I know what you're thinking. I must still be in middle school or something. But no...all 3 happened after I graduate high school. I don't think I have anybody to blame but myself for it though... I'm pretty much just going to complain about what happened with each now, so stop reading if you don't care about that :P I was introduced to the first girl through a friend of mine during senior year. My friend wanted me to ask her to prom and I said I would get to know her and decide if I wanted to. I met her shortly after and after talking to her for a few weeks I was really starting to like her. Unfortunately her parents were insanely strict and even getting permission to go to prom was a mission or her. After prom I hung out with her more. Then during summer vacation I was talking to her about actually getting together. I knew her parents would flip out if she had a boyfriend, but I still wanted to try. At first she was worried about her parents, but then she decided to give it a try. For the next two weeks we went out almost every day until her parents finally snapped. They were upset about her going out so much even though they thought we were just friends and we weren't going out alone. So she called me and she was crying so I knew what that meant. Fortunately we're still very good friends. I'm glad that wasn't ruined. The second girl was a friend of the first (Yes I know. Not cool. I couldn't help it though. I had a crush on her even since I saw her in middle school and thought I didn't have a snowballs chance in hell). She was going out with a guy while I was still getting to know and going out with the first girl. She broke up with him shortly after the first girl broke up with me. I'd gone out with her as friends many times before, but we stopped hanging out with each other as much once we got into our relationships (Hate using that word). But we were starting to see each other much more often again. I'm pretty sure she had liked me since we first got to know each other during the school year. I never planned on telling her I liked her because she'd be going off to college in two months. But the flirting started to get ridiculous and a month before she had to leave for college she told me she liked me. In that moment I was having a conflict with myself because I knew that we shouldn't do anything since she'd be leaving soon, but at the same time, the girl I've had a crush on for years is laying there next to me telling me she likes me. I didn't have much time to think. She grabbed my hand and came in for a kiss. At the point my brain shut down, my emotions took over, and I made a decision that I knew was foolish. But I was as happy as can be.

I spent the next couple days hanging out at her house and her mom is saying "I just knew something would happen between you two!" and I was feeling pretty good. 5 days later she tells me she wants to talk. "This is hard for me because I love you so much blah blah blah I'm going to school next month blah blah blah maybe in the future some time blah freakin blah." Saying some crap about how its not really a "break up" as much as it is a "break off" or something. Whatever. So we broke up after five days. Continued to fool around with each other (stupid stupid stupid) and stayed friends when she left. Visited her at college, became sick by what I was seeing, cried like mad for two weeks, haven't talked to her since. The third girl I met in college last summer. I asked her out on a date. We dated a couple months and I could tell she wanted to be my girlfriend. She kept saying crap like "Well maaaaybe if we were boyfriend and girlfriend".... "Well if I was your girrrlfriiiend..." So we made it official. 6 days later she sends me like 5 texts (Yes. Texts.) at 8 freakin' a.m. to break up with me. I didn't care much for this girl though to be honest. I was more upset that she woke me up at 8. She said she wanted to see me in person to talk, so i met up with her for the last time. She said she wanted to be friends and all that crap and I basically said that that's not going to happen. That was the end of that. Sometimes it feels good to just rant :D If you actually read all that, you're awesome. Have a great Valentines Day everybody.

For the past week I've been contemplating piercing my tongue. I don't know why I'm interested in doing it all of the sudden. It just doesn't seem like something I would do. I haven't told a single person yet, but I'm sure they would be shocked/confused to see me of all people with a tongue piercing.

I've been reading some articles and watching videos about it. It really doesn't seem bad at all. From the videos I've seen it seems like the actual piercing is almost completely painless. I have a high tolerance for pain so I'm not worried about that. The aftercare seems like the worst part. I don't like having my diet restricted. Not being able to have any dairy would drive me crazy. I don't plan on working anymore when my school semester begins so I'm planning on doing it sometime after I stop working which would be a little over two weeks from now. I think that is plenty of time to research it more and really think about it and make sure I'm not doing something I'll regret.

If I decide to do it then the only people I'm going to tell beforehand are my sister and my brother in law since he got his tongue pierced last year. I'll ask him any questions that I have. For everybody else it will be a surprise :D. I want to tell my other sister but she has turned into one of those insane Christians that even other Christians think are annoying. I don't want her to bother me about it. My parents would be alright with it. They're going to want to beat the freakin **** out of me at first, but I know after a couple of days they wont care.

Let's see what happens... :P

I have no idea which letters were not supposed to be capitalized in that title...

I was 360-less for over a year and half but finally bought one a couple months ago. I've only played MW2 so far, but it's time to play some other games. Also, my cousin bought a PS3 recently so I've been playing around with that too. Earlier this week I bought MGS4 for 25 bucks at Gamestop. I've been having difficulties with playing it because I haven't played a stealth game in a very long time. It's taking me a while to get used to a stealth mindset after playing so many run n gun games lately. I've actually never beaten a MGS game and I didn't play the second one at all. I couldn't remember why I quit those games half way through but after playing MGS4 I think I know. My problem with the game is that it I don't get to attack people often enough. I just hate not being able to follow somebody into an isolated corner and knocking them out. That's probably why I prefer the Splinter Cell series so much more. Now this is strange and it sounds completely stupid, but I like the IDEA of sneaking around enemies without being noticed and without touching them, but actually doing it isn't fun. I don't think it will ruin the game for me though because I'm still having a blast playing and I still get to creep up on people occasionally. Hopefully I actually finish this game. The only problem is that the PS3 belongs to my cousin (who I live with) and I can only play when hes not home because once he gets home he just stay in his room and locks his door.

I also bought Fable 2 on Tuesday. I just beat it earlier today and I don't really know how I feel about the game. When I was playing it nothing could pull me away from my 360. I played for 6 hours straight on Tuesday and 7 hours straight yesterday and a couple hours today. I loved the fact that I got pulled into doing so many things outside of the main quest. I really didn't think I was making much progress in the main quest until I beat it today. I know I've been playing for around 15-20 hours but the game still felt short because I spent A LOT of time messing around. And the story was just terrible. It was as deep and interesting as I'd expect a side quest to be. Ok fine that's a bit of an exaggeration. I've started a new game in which I plan to be incredibly evil and corrupt. Being evil is always fun.

I also purchased the God of War Collection a while ago. I've only played the first one when I had a PS2 but I never beat it. Again, don't know why I quit. Its funny because I've already beaten the first one from the collection a few days ago and I realized that I was literally about 45 minutes away from beating it the first time I played and quit.

Not much to say about this game. It is as epic and awesome as everybody says.

Not looking forward to work tomorrow. Especially since I have to drive in what will probably be a rainstorm. :(

After a couple weeks of training, I'm now officially a 7-11 employee. I can't believe I ended up working at a 7-11. Being an Indian guy, my friends would often joke about me working at one and I would always think "not in a million years." I feel a bit pathetic because this is only my first job and I'm 19 years old. It feels even worse knowing that I didn't really do anything to get the job either. My sister is trying to buy a 7-11 and she basically runs one that's owned by a family friend so that when she buys one she'll be well prepared. She needed another employee and asked (more like forced actually) me to work. My experience so far hasn't been great. I really don't like dealing with people. I'm always worried about them getting frustrated with me and treating me like crap, which will leave me upset for a long time. Even the smallest negative comments get burned into my mind and leave me feeling like crap for weeks. A few days ago a man came in with his young daughter and tried to use the broken ATM machine. He walked up to me and my coworker and asked us if we knew what was going on with the ATM machine. We said "Sorry but we can't help you out with the ATM machine. We'll have to call somebody in to get it fixed. You can try calling the support number on the machine and maybe they can help you out." So he goes back and tried to use it again for a few minutes but it wasn't working. So he goes to leave the store and as he's walking out the door he yells out "F*** you" and flips us off. I hate knowing that there will always be people like that coming in. There's a lot of back room work that I'd prefer to do like checking shipments, stocking the cooler, making hot foods because I don't have to deal with people but all the employees do a little bit of everything. It's not that I'm just worried about customers getting upset, but I'm just socially awkward and cannot interact with people. But maybe that's something that can be changed by working there. Ok so this has been pretty much my only blog post since May when I said "I'll start blogging more" but I'll actually start doing that. It seems like a good way of releasing frustration, which is something I'll always have. Since most of my posts will probably be me talking about stuff that's bothering me it wont leave room for discussion but feel free to comment :) I'll try and make sure not every post is about my life and instead have other more interesting topics. *with heavy Indian accent* Thank you (for reading), come again! :D

August 24th, 2009! I turn 19 today. Can't say that I'm too excited. School starts for one of the community colleges I go to today also. I don't really have any plans. My friends are supposed to take me out later in the week I think, but it's a surpriiiiise. Two posts ago I said that I was going start blogging here again, then I made only one post after that. I guess I lied!

Or at least be more tolerant of others preferences. My Psychology of Women class watched a movie called "Hip Hop: Beyond Beat and Rhymes." It detailed all the problems most people hear about rap music. Hyper masculinity, violence, degrading women etc. I didn't have a problem with what was being said because I agreed with most of it. It was the discussion about the movie later on that bothered me. I'm a very quiet guy and I never share my thoughts in class, but listening to other people bugged me a little. I get this feeling that when people watch videos like this one they label all rap as bad, which is really unfair. Although Pink Floyd is my favorite band (for now at least), underground rap is my favorite music genre. I think the reason I get so upset about it is because underground rap was really important to me. When I first started high school I constantly felt like crap and then I started listening to underground rap. It instantly became the best part of my day. No matter how bad I thought my day was, I could come home, listen to some music, and I would feel alright. From the end of my freshman year of high school until about two months ago I listened to only underground rap. That's almost four years. Obviously I got tired of it and decided to try some new stuff. I started listening to a little heavy metal and some jazz and I really liked some of the stuff I heard. Then I came across Pink Floyd. I've never liked any artist/band this much. Its kind of bad because 90% of the songs I've listened to in the past month were Pink Floyd. Anyway, the point is, if you only listen to one genre try some new things and you might be very pleased.

It's been almost a year since I've been active on this site. I recently stated posting in OT again, but I haven't written a blog yet. Hopefully people actually read this stuff :P I was looking at some of the blogs I wrote in the past and it was really......trippy I guess. I used to have such a different sense of humor that I liked way more. I've changed a lot actually. I don't know what happened! Recently my friend showed me a really funny convo we had on AIM 3 years ago and I was really surprised at my own weirdness. Looking at my posts have also been kind of upsetting though because some of them talk about high school. I know people say you shouldn't have regrets but I really regret the way I handled what could have been a great education. I never worked hard in high school and I'm suffering for that now. I know I have the intelligence to succeed, its work ethic that I'm lacking. Wow. Getting way off topic. I guess I can give some background info about myself. I'm 18 years old and I live in Southern Cali. I'm in my first year of college. Unfortunately I'm stuck at a community college because I slacked off in high school. (I'll probably complain about this often) Now that I think about it I don't really have many hobbies :( I like to play basketball and just hang out with friends but that's about it. I don't really even like doing anything with my friends. I just enjoy talking to them. We're all extremely close so we can talk about anything. I'm really open with them (I'm pretty open with everybody actually. Especially when I'm talking late at night for some reason) I used to love playing video games but not so much anymore. My 360 broke a year ago and I never bothered to get it fix because it wasn't the RRoD and I would have to pay to get it fixed. I still play every now and then though but I'm not nearly as into the gaming world as I used to be. My favorite music genre is underground rap, but my favorite band is Pink Floyd. I'll also listen to jazz and heavy metal on occasion. I just recently started exploring genres though so hopefully I can find more stuff that I enjoy. Eh that's enough background. People will find out more about me as I continue posting blogs I guess. If you guys and gals have any questions then ask away! As a matter of fact, I demand you ask. :| EDIT: Why does it separate some paragraphs and not others?! GAH!