Last weekend saw another day at my friend's house. As usual, I would avoid masturbation for weeks leading up to the day I sleep over his house, just so I would violate his spare bed during the night. It was Sunday morning when he woke me from a dream where I was playing Leap Frog with a bunch of Tutles. He told me that I was laughing in my sleep and that it annoyed him. So I said to him "Shut the f*ck up or I'll stab you" as I often say when I'm in a dumbarse mood. He replied by saying "With what? Your pin-d!ck?" I thought for a moment and told him "I chronically wet the bed." He looked like he sat on a carrot when he said "Get out!" So I went to his younger sister's room who is 6 years old. We lip wrestled and I won via submission. Then I had a bad feeling in my stomach. I thought I better go and have a sit on the toilet. 15 minutes later I finished pwning the toilet and went to wash my hands. There was no toilet paper so I washed my arse in the bathroom sink. I found it very sooting on my testicles so I decided to have a bat. I was there for about 4 minutes when my friend's mum walked in. She told me not to play with her food. Anyway, I shot her in the eyeball and everyone lived happily ever after.