No, actually not. But seriously, The United States are like... falling. When I went over there it was 2001 pre-9/11... everyone seemed allright to me. Now... it's different. So much tension. I hope they can get up again, and not end in a bad shape.

But what else is left in this world anyway? There's a considerable tension in Earth... even though we tend to destroy ourselves, we shouldn't do it at an insane level.

I am talking about a Nuclear Catasthrophe.

Shall this ever happen, forget about living for thousands of years. I mean, how much will a generation of living beings last in a desolated, irradiated wasteland? Even with a few remnants of resources?

We really need to shape up, least we want Earth to become a wasteland planet. Just... think about it. You may be a common citizen, but you are human, you can change things... if done correctly.

Just don't blow Earth up.

It's been a great year. Happenings? ... a lot. But most of them were positive. I learnedmore about myself, more about the world I live in... current 2000's Earth.

What I enjoyed most was the way I lived trough the year... at first, it seemed it would be just like 2003 or 2004... but It changed. I actually enjoyed living trough the year, in the good and bad things.

I met people, I learned from people... all great persons. And my depression has finally been taken down. Well, not at all at least... I managed to level it down to a low level, but it's still there. The only way I can get rid of this chronic depression is... finding the love of my life.

Who is this woman? I don't know. But If I want to live better and at the maximum I can get, I must find my life partner. I willlearn what being happy and being in love feels like. I want to experience those feelings... but it's still a hard way to go.

Just 10 minutes remaining. It's unbelievable how fast time goes by. This made me think... I only have two ways to choose from: be a Graphic Designer or a U.S. Marine. I can't go both ways, only one I may serve. And right now, I feel that I will be better in the Marines. But I hope this changes.

Now, for miscellanious achievements I got this year:

-December: First time I ever talk to a girl to know her better, succeed in it, and got her phone number without problems.

-Sometime in 2007: I finally decided what careersI want to get into.

-Sometime in 2007: I decided to not care about what people think. I'll be myself and I will do it in a tolerant way as always.

-Finished third High-School Semester, going to the Fourth. I'm at half the way to freedom.

-Song of the Year: Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time"

-I do not fear the world anymore. I may had attempted to commit suicide in October 22, 2007... but I decided not to. I will get through the world in a way.

Thank you god for allwoing me to continue being in this Earth, and aiding me in my way to success. I will find a way to serve humanity.

Good luck, CarbineSoldier. The time is approaching...

2007

A Dream Year

It's amazing to see just how time passes by too fast when you enjoy something. Makes you think...

But I'm glad to be in GameSpot, and been two years already. In fact I've been visiting GameSpot since 2002, but didn't made an account until 2005. Many things changed in only two years, but they weren't that dramatical. Just the interface, although the ranking system change did impressed me... I don't like it.

Anyway, I'm happy to belong to this community! Although I'm not sure for how long can I be... soon I'll have to change many, many things. I'm not expecting to see another amazing game in a long time though.

Peace, and good gaming.

Years back, I wished to be ignored by all humans. It seems that my wish was granted after all. Maybe I'm finally made someone who is no one in Earth, in human society. The bad thing is that I aren't satisfied. People barely even know I'm alive, but at least I can get water and food, among other things. At least vendors talk to me.

I'm not emo, nor I wish to become one. Again: Emo's aren't good. Their lives aren't to my liking, nor is my life, but why should I care? God sent me to this world for a reason I may already know, or one I still need to find out. Besides cutting your wrists is just... unacceptable.

My only hope is that if I manage to survive this next 5 years, I may rise from the unknown. I have plans and projects I wish to do, like modding video games, to actually make one. I don't know if I may even get to do a little modding though.

My days playing video games are over. I just can't play anymore, I don't have the strenght, intelligence, and determination to do so. This is my gaming history's timeline:

-Early Gaming (1990's)

Pac-Man (1995)

Super Mario Bros. (1995)

Battle City (1997)

Contra (1997)

Pòkemon Blue (1999)

Star Fox (1999)

 

-Experienced gaming (2000-2007)

Age of Empires (2000)

Age of Empires II (2000)

StarCraft (2000)

Star Wars: Episode 1, The Phantom Menace (2000)

Command & Conquer (2000)

Perfect Dark (2000)

Doom (2000)

Super Smash Bros. (2001)

Metal Slug, 2, 3 (2002)

The Sims (2002)

Command & Conquer Tiberian Sun (2002)

Halo (2003)

Medal of Honor: Frontline (2003)

Indiana Jones and the Emperor's Tomb (2003)

Minority Report (2003)

Zoo Tycoon (2003)

Worms Armageddon (2003)

Sim City 3000 (2003)

Shenmue II (2004)

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (2004)

Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne (2004)

The Sims 2 (2004)

Halo 2 (2004)

Command & Conquer: Generals (2004)

Age of Mythology (2004)

Rise of Nations (2004)

Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon 2 (2004)

Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell Pandora Tomorrow (2004)

Call of Duty (2004)

Mafia (2004)

Harry Potter and the Philosophal Stone (2004)

Metal Gear Solid (2004)

Black & White (2004)

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (2005)

Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory (2005)

Half-Life 2 (2005)

Counter-Strike: Source (2005)

F.E.A.R. (2005)

Far Cry (2005)

Far Cry: Instincts (2005)

Medal of Honor: European Assault (2005)

Doom 3 (2005)

Doom II (2005)

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (2006)

Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter (2006)

Dead or Alive 4 (2006)

Dead Rising (2006)

Hitman: Blood Money (2006)

Condemned: Criminal Origins (2006)

Call of Duty 2 (2006)

Perfect Dark Zero (2006)

Hitman 2: Silent Assasin (2006)

Medal of Honor: Allied Assault (2006)

The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind (2007)

Warcraft III (2007) - last game I will ever play. How short isn't it? I would list more, but my mind isn't allowing me to do so... my video gaming life ended in March 21, 2007. 1995-2007.

I think it's time for the Internet to know. I choose this place because it seems that I had done most things here.

My age doesn't matter, I can act either like a 30 years old man or a 15 years old teen.... what I'm about to type here is the truth, who am I, why I fail at life... who really is CarbineSoldier.

 I don't seek attention, I seek satisfaction, with myself. Since I started to play video games, my life was both good and bad. My parents divorced back in 2002, but that wasn't a reason to fail. The reason of why I fail at life is unknown, I may never know what caused my life to go down to a hole. I don't know if this is part of some plan God has for me, or an already made destiny.

When I first created this username... this alter-ego, I was proud of myself. I tought I could find memorable experiences over the internet, over gaming, wich was a very important part of my life. This was tonned down because of... who knows. I don't know what happened. I suddendly just started to suck at videogames. I was always defeated in multiplayer games, being laughed at.... while my username, this alter-ego was created for the reason that I wanted something unique, something to cause fear in my enemies, someone I want to be... but that failed.

I never were recognized, because I couldn't play like what I could do. I could become some of the best video games player in history, I could become someone, in life.... but I can't, there is an uknown reason why I can't accomplish this. I got tired of videogames, but not for that. After playing video games for almost 10 years, one of my most important daily life's basis was eliminated, it went off, for an unknown reason. The last game I played was Warcraft 3, and that was 3 days ago, I didn't even finished it.

Now, I find myself in a tough act. I can't play video games anymore, maybe barely, but not as I used to play. I don't find anything that isn't negative in my life, everything just looks... obscure to me. I don't even find a reason to live anymore, the world could be better without me... and no, I would NEVER attempt at commiting suicide. It's a sign of cowardince, dishonor, and it's against the morals and laws of God. Only God himself has the right to... erease someone in this world. 

As I am writing this, I am thinking what will happen after I type this... many will critizice this Blog... but I don't care, I can have a place where to express myself, and I am free to do so. My Intelligence, Strenght, Morale... is lost. CarbineSoldier could be dead by now. My dreams of making a grand video game, one to appeal to all the world... may never come true. It will be just as my other plans, a dream floating in the dark deeps of my mind. And being a hardware knowing guy... what a wonderful job that is.

What I want all of you to know is, to live your life, enjoy every second, moment of it... don't let a little disturbance make you feel terrible, don't let failure get you. You must triumph, Earth depends on how we humans take care of her, and you and many others shall take care of her, as it's our homeland, where we were born. I want to be an example of what can failure cause, and make you win, laugh at difficult times while enjoying life. Don't make the mistakes I did, to let failure get me. I aren't the best example, but I tried....

Although my alter-ego might be as well dead, I want you all to remember this: There will only be one and true CarbineSoldier. And I am no emo.

Although I took time to write all of this crap, I feel a little better now. Good gaming, Internet Society! CarbineSoldier, out. I might as well start to prepare for my doom... the prophecies are becoming true... I am falling, being almost out of Human Society and life... but the Golden Age of the Human race is approaching, or at least I hope so... 2012, the New 5000 years Epoch will commence. And I might be... reborn? I'm not crazy, read the Mayan prophecies.

How stupid, idiotic, idiot, imbecile, *******, piece of crap I am... but I'm not pathetic. 

This might or not be real, and this isn't a joke either. Believe what it is, it isn't nothing more than a blog. Wether you think is stupid, emo, nonsense, attention idiot... I don't care. Believe whatever you want. I'm sure going to be around the internet still...

I had an scare today. I changed my e-mail in my preferences... today I attempted to log-in and it told me that the e-mail was invalid. I tried the e-mail with the one I changed to yesterday, and it asked me to confirm my registration... I was like what the crap!

I checked my e-mail and "confirmed" my registration.

And my profile was just like what I leaved it yesterday. *Relief*... I tought my profile was going to reset!

Carbine

I just got an Xbox 360 ten days ago. Right now I have a conflict with my family so I can't play much... only like 3 to 5 hours 2 or 4 days of the week, and I still have a GamerScore of almost 1000.

My favorite game and most played right now is Dead or Alive 4. In fact is the only game I own. Others, except Hexic, wich was included with my console... were either rented or borrowed. Hell, I haven't even finished the campaign of Advanced Warfighter. I am just addicted to DOA4, and my PC was attacked by a virus and I can't use it, so I am sticking with an old 450Mhz PC right now. I will get a new PC later this year or eraly next year.

Gears of War, Crysis, Halo 3, Double Agent and other great games are looking good, but I want to wait and see what people think of it.

I don't like multiplayer games too much... I only play with people I know, friends and family. My brother is playing Multiplayer games like Perfect Dark Zero and G.R.A.W. because I accidentally applied the Xbox Live Gold free subscription for a month... I haven't even tried the multiplayer games nor I am interested in them.

The only Mutliplayer game I had ever played by purpose and because I liked it was Counter-Strike Source, but that was seven months ago. I had retired from it. It's just not fun anymore. It got very repetitive and boring. I couldn't stand the annoying people that got mad just because I teamkilled them when they ran straight ahead of my line of fire while I was providing cover or trying to eliminate the enemy players, or calling me a "noob" because I had been playing for a short time. And by the way I didn't sucked in it. I just didn't liked it anymore.

I had passed enough time already to have a fun match with my favorite  characters in Dead or Alive 4. But I miss F.E.A.R... a lot. I will get it for Xbox 360 also, but I like it a lot when playing in the PC too.

I got an Xbox360... finally. I'm loving it. This should last me until I upgrade my PC.

July 3, 2006.

I had graduated from Junior High-School. Finally... my Junior High days are over, but I am going to begin a new, and much better stage. Junior High was allright, I guess.

I am getting new upgrades for my PC... good news.

Until next entry.