I actually wrote this for Ninja Gaiden, a year ago, but I touched a pool of water in God of War and started having vivid flashbacks, so I thought I would bring it back out for posterity. I don't know yet if there is an actual swimming level in God of War, but there is WATER and that is ENOUGH.


Swimming levels,
you are pinnacle to every 3D action/adventure game and yet
you are not the apple of mine eye
would that the camera not begin to immediately flip out (and kill people)
it should be easier to see because water is transparent - you dig?
why must the controls reverse and inverse and revert to their very worst?
as if they had not been prepared for you
as if they had only been tested on land

Swimming levels,
what is a man but mostly water
and still he can do nothing but flail about in the very substance that should be most natural to him
You are no typhoon or torrent, just a simple pool of water
but by the way you thwart me, I would not be able to tell the difference

Swimming levels,
who was the great gaming god(dess)
that first set forth the template that read:
HE WHO CREATES LEVEL BASED GAMES SHALL HENCEFORTH MAKE A SWIMMING LEVEL
it's nothing personal but
if I never saw you again
it would mean a great deal
to me.