Lara Croft and I have a rocky past. I mean things were fine between us at first. I felt like she really understood me. When her second game came out, I boldly called it the greatest action game of the age (that might have been slightly hyperbolic, but I contest that it still did some incredible things within the action genre that have not been touched since).

The following releases were all a blur. Then there was that whole movie bit. I mean sure Angelina Jolie may be perfect looking, but I had been Lara Croft for the four preceding Halloweens and I had beaten every game (on every platform). I just don't see where they get off not giving me my due.

Angel of Darkness was a pretty big smack in the face. In fact, I don't think things have been the same between us since. And yet I'm always ready to kiss and make up. Oh Lara, how I've missed you.


I swear, I'm not...that...obsessed.