So today is prolly one of the worser of my days in life. Mostly because if i was still with my ex it would have been our 4th even though it is has been like 6 months im still not over him yet.Which sucks so much really more so on today then anything else. Not to mention I had got some odd virus today as well but figures it would be today i would get it meh. I mean even after all that he has done cheated on me, Showed my pictures to all his friends who with them showing others half my old town knows what i look like naked. I still love the guy.Maybe it was because he was my first real guy i loved I mean my first was speciail but was short where this was the first time I felt invested in someone.

What makes it worse is all my friends say im better off without him.Though it is like I feel is the main reason why im glad im going to therpy is overall this issue. Its hard to really like some men due to them being so nice or welcoming which is crazy sense that is what most women I think want. Instead i seem to be attracted to the bad guys who i know will only disapoint. I know some say it is because being raped alot as a child. Or many other things that were horriable that happend being cut on or the cigerate burns. I still hope that in one year time that this day wont brother or maybe luckly i wont remember it so much

Anyways hopefully im not to alone I hope in still being in love with a bad guy else have any ideas or if they have gone through something similar how they got over the person. Cause even today I still can not get over him much worst today then other days that go by. OR if they find them selves drawn to bad guys as well or knew some one who was. Just any advice is great.Feels good just to get this all out some place even some random game site.

P.S Used bad guys cause my oringal word was censored =(