Maybe I should see what the interest level is for a new union. Perhaps BD and I could get together and do anything so I don't have to sit alone in my own house while my husband carries on conversations with who knows who instead of me, and I'm just here lonely and bored after the baby goes to sleep (and even before). I work on have tos and then I want to do something else, but I need someone to do it with. Should I have to find people to hang out with? Maybe. Do I need to leave to cultivate other interests and not go nuts? Not necessarily. Maybe I just need to go to the gym now and then. And maybe Enrichment. And what else? Maybe chat with my family. If I were home at least I could watch movies with other people. I have very little TV time when D's home. I get stir crazy. I get sick of reading. I want to interact. Who can I hang with? Do I have to have people over? D. doesn't want to go out much. How can I get some TV time? How can we discover things we want to do together? Do I have to play games to interact? I don't want to. I feel resistance besides the animosity I feel toward the game systems. I've fantisized throwing the breaker, unplugging everything, tossing the Xbox out the window, etc. Why must he spend sooo much time on the game systems? Why must he turn it on immediately on coming home? Why is it hours and hours and nothing else? I feel resentment when I'm working on chores and he's focused on games. I want help. I want freedom to do what I want, too. Why do I have to defer? Why do I have to wait? Why does he play Uno online when we can play in person? What does the escape do for him? How can I meet my needs while he's doing what he does? I'm tired, and I'm going to bed. I don't want my life to be me keeping busy with something while he plays games forever. I can't keep this up for long. Sometimes the sounds drive me berzerk. I'm getting more familiar, but I'm also getting more opposed. I don't want to have anything to do with games because I'm so sick of them and how they compete for D.'s time. I don't want my kids to get sucked in. I don't want them wasting their lives when they can be developing skills, performing service, learning, and experiencing life.