Television and gaming has a shaky history. When television shows are not blaming games for the downfall of all civilisation (which, incidentally, hasn't happened yet, but any downturn in civilisation certainly started before the advent of games and can probably have television to thank much more than any other medium) they are completely ignoring us. That's fine by me, television is awash these days with poor talent contests, poor "celebrity" "reality" shows (which are a contradiction, they make the celebrities they then shill, and there is little reality in them, who on earth watches these?) and there really is less quality by the year.

But the idiot box has had the odd stab at gaming tv shows, and, living in the United Kingdom, I can recall a few. Gamesmaster, Channel 4, this was the daddy. Gamesmaster Magazine these days is nothing more than an advert for wii but back then, it had everything. This was genesis. Contests, reviews, features, and, in an odd twist, weirdo Patrick Moore giving out cheats to the kind of spotty Herberts you would usually see on Why Don't You? You'd be hard pressed not to spit at the television set during these segments, but the calm visage of Patrick would calm you down enough.Then Dominic Diamond would inevitably come along again. Hcccccchhhhh...peuh! Good thing T.V.s were sturdy back then.

Then Sky came along, with Gamesworld. I think it was called Gamesworld. It featured WWF style competitors taking on the public, but their only job was playing games, so they were really good at them. It was entertaining, but I sincerely hope Big Boy Barry, wherever he now is, whatever he now is, is unemployed and begging for enough cash to play on his local chip shop's ancient asteroids machine. Twit. That said, this show seemed exotic. Not many had sky, and in the early days, much like now, they didn't bother making their own shows so this was an island of eccentric britishness in a sea of glossy american nonsense.

It took years for anyone else to bother. Bravo had a few goes. I cannot even remember the name of the last one, except, they went all "street". Now, when you go "Street", bizarrely, you don't resemble anything from any street I've ever known. Fifa Street, for example, is somewhere even Ali G would be ashamed of walking down. That said, the show was quite honest, and an honourable attempt to get a gaming show on television. I liked it. The hosts were trying to be "yoof" but they loved their games and you could tell that.

The last show I have to mention was made by God. And when I say God, I mean Charlie Brooker. Charlie Brooker is the cynical, bad tempered host of screenwipe, a television show bashing television, and newswipe, a news show bashing the news. So you'd think he would bash gaming with "Gameswipe". It turns out God loves gaming. As do quite a few awesome comedians like Dara O Briain and one of the makers of Father Ted. This was unfortunately a one off. It would comfortably be the best one of all if he made a series out of it. It was informative, clever, and funny, like Charlie Brooker. Buried on BBC Four. Like Charlie Brooker. The only criticism is that it seemed to have been made with one eye on the outsider, explaining things we already know, like gamers aren't all 5 any more.

So that's it, gaming and television. The thing is, we don't need television, and it doesn't need us. We get along fine. Now, if only people like Alan Titchmarsh would get that into his stupid, ugly head.

One thing most gratifying about this generation (and to an extent the last one) is the absent of cheats. Now, I used to know some off by heart. Up Down Left Right A+Start. Can't remember the one for Shining Force 2. I was too busy kicking arse. But cheating was, well, cheating. It belongs in the same era as Aztek Bars, Shell Suits, John Major, and Glitzy American television shows with shoulder pads and big hair. I am of course talking about the past. Cheats are the easy way out. Gone are the days where you used to buy a game for £40.00, old or new, took it home, and had it completed in 40 minutes. Cheats back then made less sense than they do now. People used to look them up before they played the game. Scrawling through the awfulness of Games Master these days, one thing that I've noticed is that the cheatmaster section is now far more about unlocking secrets. These are a cherry on the cake, whereas cheats are having someone eat the cake for you and then you simulating a burp and shouting "finished". You haven't eaten the cake, you haven't enjoyed the cake. The cake was a lie. I think it's a by product of the Trophy/Achievement system. Allow cheats and everyone can get all necessary achievements or trophies without the effort required. They used to be so tempting. The seventh time you've fallen at a boss, let's call him Mega Ultra Cyborg Killer, and hit the game over screen, usually some muppet waving at you, there is a certain urge to look up a level select. You'd fumble to the back of the latest issue of Mega Games, hit an elaborate code and bingo, the boss never happened. But you haven't won. You're lame, and the endings of most of the games in the past were lamer so you've missed the point. You'd see a twenty second wrap up segment, as shallow and incomprehensible as the story, then some credits, and then the title screen. Cheats do of course still exist, and I don't mean the humorous ones or the unlockable secret ones, I mean the classic, "I've just spent £40.00 on a game and have no intention of seeing it through" cheats. If you resort to them, you're only cheating yourself. Let them die. You deserve better.