Do you ever feel like you're standing at the crossroads? Standing there, looking down the available paths, and just don't like what you see?

I dunno. Maybe it's the winter blahs (or SAD, as the let's-make-everything-an-illness crowd calls it), maybe it's the truncated tv season, or maybe its the mistake of visiting Facebook one too many times. (Am I the only one who hates Facebook? I swear everyone I went to school with is practically the CEO of Microsoft.....you know, great career, married with gorgeous husband, wonderful kids, and tons of equally impressive friends. Not only that, but everyone is a camera whiz and can make themselves look like Hollywood starlets. God, it's depressing.)

I'm 34 now. 34. 34 and sitting alone at the pc again. 34 atten pm and sitting hereabout to go into work. 34 and doing the graveyard shift for ten years. 34 and spending my best years taking care of my aging parents, taking care of their bills and debts and watching, just watching, my life slowly drift away.

You know, as a kid I would spend all my time in school looking out of the window and daydreaming. But it was ok.....I had a sharp mind and could answer all the questions and do the assignments while everyone else was shuffling into their seats. It's funny, I found out much later on that I always had the highest testing marks in the school (maybe that's why they never found out that I never listened, or did homework, or studied, or knew what was going on lol). I look back on all that daydreaming and think damn, wish I going go back 30 years in time and do it all over again (I coulda been a contender!) . The worst thing in life is having a wonderful gift and losing it. Actually, what's worse is still having just enough active braincells to realiseexactly how muchI lost.

Anyway, back to the crossroad. 34. Somehow, some way, I need to find a way to break off the path I'm on and get onto a better road. Just one step....

Somehow, some way, I will find a way to take that step this year. The path I'm on is quickly leading to a cliff, and it's either get off or fall.

((Hmm, this is a bit more of a Rant then a General. Oh well, it's more here for me to see it in front of my face, in black and white.))

Is it just me, or have allthe dynamic discussion boards out there just vanished?

It seems whenever someone wants to talk about a show on more than a superficial level, you're lucky to see one or two responses. But mention something about an actor's new haircut, or what a cute couple two stars would make, and bam, 3 pages of replies.

There are so many shows out there which generate so much thought: the CSIs and forensic topics, Criminal Minds and what exactly is happening in all of our minds, and even shows like House and how the human body deals with so many ailments.

I believe these shows offer such a wonder gift to viewers, not only to learn something about scientific topics, but to learn more about ourselves. Why do people insist on throwing it away because lolz omg he is soooo cute? It's freakin TV! Everyone looks good, even the so-called 'ugly' people look damn good. Get over it already!

**sigh**, I left these forums about a year ago at this time (for about 6-8 months) when it got to me too much, and I feel it may be time to do the same thing again. I just wish people would appreciate these shows the way I do, not just as eye-candy and storylines, but as wonder fodder for the brain. :(

Well, I just finished my work week, and I just don't understand people anymore.

Our store had decided to open 24/7 on the 18th of December til December 24th.  Well, the people who shop in the store at 3 am are something else!  Every single night this week we have had people show up in their pajamas and shop!  I realise we're situated in a very safe area of the city (not like there's a whole lot of dangerous areas in Ottawa to begin with, but still) but wandering around in your pajamas?  It reminds me of an old Dilbert book (Casual Day Has Gone Too Far) where all the employees are walking around in bathrobes, in costumes and in the buff.

Apparently, this wasn't a surprising development to some of my coworkers.  Some of them told me how its the big thing for high school students around here to wear their pjs to school on a regular basis.  And I thought the fashions back in my day (the cool cool 80s) were odd. 

I've gotta wonder, is this a trend anywhere else?  I mean, I know Ottawa has been having unseasonal warmth for this time of year - there's not even a whisper of snow on the ground yet and word has it we will have rain for Christmas - but is anyone else out there around the globe seeing this trend?  Or are the people of Ottawa going insane?  :shock:

Well, another Black Friday has come and gone.  Seems like only yesterday we were cleaning up after the Boxing Week sales. 

Officially crunch time.....now the goal is to survive the hectic final quarter, then prepare for the cuts in January.  Not that we're doing all that badly - last year at this time we were just coming off the grand opening of our store in its new location and had half a dozen trailers parked full of freight.  Now, we're just running with half a dozen storage units on our converted garden centre and one trailer in the back. 

Unfortunately, we are in the middle of a "power block," (an area with multiple big box stores) and our sales are about 40k a day less than last year.  That means longer and deeper cuts in hours in January and beyond. 

At least I'm not in America.  Wallys are horrible on Blitz Day.  Rabid customers breaking down the doors at midnight, people stampeding all over the place worse than all the Furby and Cabage Patch Doll stampedes put together, and usually about 10-20 trailers full of freight outside the store that will be moved, stocked and sold that very day.  I've heard of some superstores which do over $1 million in sales in one day!  Our grand opening last year maxed out at $250k and at that time we literally couldn't stuff another customer in the store.  Makes me glad I work nights and away from the **shudder** customers.

And, for some completely unknown reason, I just had to go out and shop tonight.  Finally got a cellphone, and was lucky enough to find a brand new Neil Gaimen novel (hey Neil, go team up with Terry Pratchett again.....the last book you did - Good Omens - was pure magic!  The world needs more books like that) and the new Dilbert book.  :D

Definitely a funny end to a quirky week. 

Wow, its Saturday and not a thing to do.  Even the HNIC games are boring (even though my Sens actually won a game for once).  And you know what the worst part is?  I'm just waking up.  Blah. 

Actually, no, that's not the worst part.  The worst part is I have the opening theme music from Seeing Things stuck in my head.  I don't know why, I haven't seen that show in ages. 

But all is not lost.  I finished going through season 6 of the Golden Girls yesterday, but that box of the first season of Charlie's Angels is sitting there next to the pc.......just waiting for me to toss 'er into the dvd player.  It's so funny.......I haven't seen any episodes of Charlie's Angels since the mid 1980s.  I just can't help but look at all the funky 1970s fashions and the old (huge!) cars......and how young all the actors are!  Even a really young Tommy Lee Jones in the pilot!  Just can't help but laugh at that. 

I remember as a youngster coming home from school, and waiting for CHiPS and Charlie's Angels to come on.  Lol, I think as a 6-year-old all I wanted to do was grow up and be a female morotrcycle cop by day and a Charlie's Angel by night.  Oh man, those were the golden years.  :)

Im seriously thinking of starting to watch that show called House.  I just happened to be flipping channels on Thursday (or was it Wednesday?) and saw Dan Larroquette, so I just had to watch.  He was just sooo spectacular as Dan Fielding on Night Court, and he was great as a guest star too.  Boy, if he coloured his hair he wouldn't look aged at all.

Anyways, back to House.  The lead doctor fellow, House, seems rather sweet.  It's funny, my co workers all say he's a nasty piece of work (they've actually watched the show for awhile), but he really seems to have a sensitive heart from what I see.  He just hides under a gruff exterior to prevent anyone from seeing this hurt he has (something to do with his father if I guess correctly).  It makes you just wanna give the loveable lout a big hug.

So maybe, just maybe, I've found a second (current) show to watch in my TV travels.  I sure hope so.  I have such a history of jinxing show, and I really don't want to see Criminal Minds (and now maybe House) go the way of High Incident and The Marshall.....which was about the last time I was really into TV. 

Oh God, I do not want to go into work tonight!

I'll bet those crazy losers will be at the door tonight before I even get to work.  Why people sit outside all night in the rain to get a buggy gaming system is beyond me.  I mean, there will be tons of the stupid things on sale by December for a decent price.  Besides, there are hardly any games for the stupid thing anyway because its new. 

But no, I'll have to sit there at the door at lunch and break and act as an armed guard to stop the little geeks form trying to break down the front doors.  And for what?  New pixels?  Big whooppee.  :roll:

Sigh, here I am, almost 10 am and I can't sleep.  Sleep - at 10 am you say?  Yep, as a grave-shifter for the last 9 years, this is like midnight to me.  So...what to do, I asked myself.  Why, write my first blog, of course! :o

So why can't I sleep?  Well, could it be a horribly boring, completely unfulfilling, nighttime retail job?  Nah, not this time.  Could it be an ultra crappy old 1992 Lincoln Towncar with yet another repair to be made?  Yeppers!  Normally the repairs don't get to me much.......until the mechanic tells me "oh, by the way, Ford doesn't make parts for your (crappy) car anymore!!"  :evil:  Well, 2 more garages later I have a tentative appointment on Wendesday for a *possible* repair.  In the meantime, I'm driving to work in the middle of the night on the TransCanada highway on a rolling timebomb with leaking fuel lines. 

Sigh, just my luck I'll be behind a trucker with a smoking fetish who sends still-lit butts out the window and under my car and................booom!  Still better than going to work tho, especially in the beginning of the Xmas season. :P