Last night I was driving home, and thinking about what I wanted to do when I have a few days off. Christmas break starts after friday for me from work, and minimally I am only taking 2 extra days off this year for a total of 11 days off. 22nd to the 2nd of January. It's a good amount of time off for family, and spending time with friends.

I got to thinking about friends at this point, and how much I do not relate to them anymore. When I was younger I had a few friends with whom I would do everything with. We were all into the same things, and loved spending hours talking about our hobbies, and bouncing ideas off each other. We were nerds (I still consider myself to be a nerd even now, as my hobbies, and life have not changed any. Just less time.) always talking about Dungeons & Dragons, or the last video game we played. We would talk about the game while playing, or what our thoughts were about games, and what might be out next. What we are looking forward too, or what we did in the game when others were not around.

I could talk about anything, and they would always know what I was talking about. It was a great time, and a great group of people to share experiences with. Even when it was just about D&D, Videogames, or Magic: The Gathering. Looking now it is about 10 years later, I am married, and still see a group of friends, just had a son last year (turns 1 on the 26th this month), and family is all doing great. However I came to a large realization last night. I am very Introverted.

I try my best to share my thoughts, and feelings with my wife, and we know what each other is feeling most of the time, we can communicate, and love each other very much, but she does not share my passion of Nerd things. Sure we play soem games together, and I enjoy what we do, when we can, but I miss the opportunity to share my true passion with her in videogames, or nerd culture. She enjoys going to some conventions, but there are a couple that I leave her at home for. I know that there is nothing for her there, and I am going to nerd up the area as best as I can.

I do not have any friends now that I spend anytime with that I can just sit back, and discuss games, or fiction (movies, books), or even the music I listen too. It was about a month ago when one of my longest friends was back in town, and there were a few of us got together, and met at a local pub sitting, and drinking, and talking. I sat there wondering what I was doing there at all. They all can talk about their work, and lives, and what they are doing. I sit there, and can't relate to a single person at the table anymore. I pretty much just sit at the table, and nod, and laugh when others do. I don't say a word most of the time, I just have nothing to contribute to the conversation anymore.

Working in IT, and being around computers all day, means that I know a little bit about them, but no one wants to hear that I sat in front of my computer, and helped people solve problems, added inventory to the work website, fixed a computer, or whatever else I do all day. I start to relate my day once in a while, but the eyes glaze over almost immediately. It's the same if I start talking about the latest video game I am playing, or book I'm reading. The music is the funniest though. I meet the odd person now, and then, and get asked what I listen too. Or what my favorite band is, and if I don't answer something in the top forty, they give me a clueless look, and ask what kind of music that is. Heavy Metal is not mainstream, and I listen to such a diverse sound, no one knows what I'm talking about.

I have been told (long tiem ago now) that I should take an interest in others hobbies also to diversify myself. I did for a while, but I can not bring myself to start things that I know I can not enjoy. Fishing, hunting, driving $500+ remote cars/trucks. We finished our basement last month, and I have space again for my hobbies, and enjoyment, but I do not want to banish myself there all the time.

Is there anyone else out there in a similar situation as I, or have you moved on to something better, and changed "for the better"?