I'm going to be honest with you people whom claim to be hardcore gamers... about 95% of you are total frauds.
I am aware that the above statement will probably get me a lot of flak (most of it consisting of certain four-letter words and pointless assaults towards my sexuality), but it's something that has to be said. According to what I've seen and read on this and other websites, if we are to believe that playing games like Halo and Gears of War constantly makes you a hardcore gamer, then about 30 million people (In the USA alone) are hardcore gamers. Now, I'm not a fancy big city lawyer, but it seems to me that being hardcore implies a minority rather than a majority (hence why the title exists in the first place) and that the hardcore crowd would be completely untouchable in terms of skill.
It seems to me that the exact opposite is true, that people who claim to be hardcore gamers are actually just a large poser group living in the delusion that as long as their favorite games are filled with swearing and diarrhea-like blood spurts, they must be hardcore. Now, if this were the film world, that might be true (I've yet to meet a person whom can watch Ichi the Killer without wincing) but alas, these are video games and you must have the skills to pay the bills.
There was a Gears of War tournament at my local university recently, out of some 48 contestants, the only people who didn't scream out with glee as someone was being chainsawed to death were myself and a girl whom most had mistakenly assumed was just with her boyfriend. Personally, at that point I had played Gears for about 5 hours (about as long as the campaign was on Hardcore difficulty) and not really wishing to converse with the rest of the contestants, I chose to talk with said girl. Interestingly enough, we both shared several things in common, we both wanted the prize money, we both were mortified with the competetion and we had both logged over 200 hours playing Disgaea 2. As most of you assumed, the two of us performed admirably against our so-called hardcore opponents and walked away at the finals, choosing to split the prize money rather than spend any extra time in that den of sweat and all night curbstomping.
So what lesson are we to pull out of this?
Don't go to places that reek of beer and pretzeled bread? No! Those places are usually fun and exciting!
Am I saying that you can't enjoy Gears of War or Halo 3? Of course not. It may not be my cup of tea, but then again, I am an active member of No Mutants Allowed.
Being called hardcore is a privilege, not a right? DING! DING! We have a winner!
Yes! Being a hardcore gamer doesn't mean that you only play a certain kind of game or place #1 in the world rankings. Being a hardcore gamer means that your main hobby is videogaming, that you've played every game you could get your grubby little mitts on, that you've gotten the same enjoyment out of beating Fallout as a child-killing genocider as you did collecting fossils in Animal Crossing! It means that you know the Konami code better than you know the Pythagorean theorum! Being hardcore means that you play games, regardless of genre, system or personal bias and juice every single last drop of enjoyment our of them until your fingers are blistered stumps that ooze pus! But most importantly, being a hardcore gamer means that you can do all of this and still make the time to have a spirited argument with people over the merits of having Sonic the Hedgehog in Super Smash Bros. Brawl! (Which probably means that I'll have to make another editorial later).
So to all of those feaux-hipster wannabes out there, I scoff at you! Because not only did I beat Halo 3 on Legendary the first time through, but I also managed to beat God Hand on the hardest difficulty with the kick-me sign on my back, and there's no better feeling in the world for me!
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