"So it's why people... they don't know gays, so their against gay marriage. Ya know, just unbelievable. I mean, after 9-11... that's something you're gonna ****in' worry about now? You need a hobby, cause on the list of things we need to worry about, gay marriage is on page six right under "are we eating too much garlic as a people?" Boy, it freaks our president out, the gay marriage thing. He went around the corner! "Son of a b!tch this can't happen! And if these states think they can let gays get married, we're gonna make a constitutional amendment! That says exactly what marriage is: marriage is between a man and a woman! Son of a b!tch!"
And I thought, you're gonna make that a constituional amendment, you ****head? What are you ****in' thinkin'!? It's a collection of extroadinary sentances and paragraphs, then you're gonna go: whodah, whodah, gakaka pffff! Why don't you have an amendment that says "people have a right to health care even if they don't have a ****in' dime!?"
Unbelievable, he wants a constitutional amendment, the reason behind this, the reason behind this logic is because of what? The Bible. And what book in the Bible does that come from? The Old Testament. And who wrote the Old Testament? My people. The Jews wrote the Old Testament. Then Christians come along and read it, and well... they **** it up from time to time. Cause they don't come down to Temple, do they? Look, there's a reason that was written, and it was written thousands, and thousands, and thousands of years ago. When we were savages at best. We were ten hairs away from being a baboon for ****s sake. And you had to control 'em, and these people were out of control, so the elders of the village came together and came up with an idea for a god. And not the Christian god, whose kind of a loving god and a sweet god. No, we had a god that was "I CAN SEE EVERYTHING YOU DO, AND I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ****IN' ASS"
It's not really a happy god, a god that seems to be a raging alcoholic. "YOU WANNA FIGHT A$$HOLE!?" And that's what they had to come up with. They had to come up with this mythical figure, that was present, and could keep these people in line, cause they were crazy. They'd do anything. See, and they'd say, "that's the way God is. God, is everywhere. And he sees everything you do. And if you **** up, he knows it, and he will smote you."
And that kinda got the message across. But then they needed rules cause alotta these guys were wandering in the desert lookin' for ****. And they'd be gone for days, and one would come back, and he'd have a camel with him. And he'd go to the alter and go, "Heh, I met her in the desert. And she looked at me in a special way. And I love her. Will you marry us?"
And the elder goes, "Look at the Bible you ****in' idiot! See what it says!? Marriage is between a man and a woman! And that's it! And if you you think you can marry this camel, you do that, and God is gonna get you!" And the guys press fallen, cause he's in love. And so the priest says, "Well okay... marry a woman and.... keep the camel on the side."
That's what I'm afraid of, I'm afraid that if we make that constitutional amendment, thousands, and thousands of years from now someone will come along and unearth our culture, and look at the Constituion and read it, and go, "Wow!" And then get to that part that says, "marriage is between a man and a woman," and they'll go, "Lookit this! The United States of America, those people, were so ****ed up, that they actually had to write down what marriage was so they could remember it!"
-Lewis Black on gay marriage

More to come later...

-Rabidus