So...the update to my story? I got rejected :|. I kind of figured it'd happen, but you know me...I always strive to prove myself wrong...or in this case, prove my own doubt right :lol:. Anyway....this was the woman I had my eyes on amongst all others, so naturally I'd take it hard...so I hit up the bar, drink my sorrows away, and catch a taxi home (hey...at least by basic instinct, I still know what I'm doing, right? :P). So, it happens like this: I walk up to Starbucks, and realize it's already a horrible time to begin with (it's a busy day as it is, but I'm already pumped, so I'll go through with it any means necessary) order some coffee, realize she's on break and wait another 10 minutes to YET AGAIN hold in my courage...ask some last minute advice from fellow co-workers about how I should approach this conflict (although...I was pretty touched when women 20 years older said they'd so date me if they were younger 8)) and grow some balls and proceed. Anyway, I catch her the moment she's done cleaning up the bathrooms, and decide to ask her if she's got a minute...

I ask here what time she gets off, in which she replies, "soon." By all means, it should be the cue that I should just leave...but you know me, right? I gotta see things through...so I say f*** it, I have nothing to lose at this moment...so I ask her if she wouldn't mind having dinner later on tonight, which all I get is a "um...no." Here, there's nothing I can do but accept defeat anyway (seriously..I'm not the type to crawl on my knees and beg). So I hang out at the mall for a few hours until 9 p.m., and hit the bar until 11 p.m. drinking a few Coronas before calling in a cab (which only cost me about $60) and stumbling my way home (seriously...when you're drunk, a few blocks from home feels like a mile) and finally get home to fire up the computer. I'm at that point where I'm depressed, but have no idea what the hell I'm so emo about :lol:. I'm not sure if I should even bother going back to the place and at least apologize for my behavior, and at least make some sort of ammends :?.

For what it's worth, I regret nothing. I took a chance, and fell...at least I'm proud to admit that I got back up and admitted that it's beyond my control. I'm just proud enough that I actually had the balls to take this chance, and take it like a man :D. I really doubt I'll be stopping there anytime soon anymore, but at least it's one question in my life that I can stop beating myself over. Anyway, I thank you all for your support and prayers (I really think it's me that royally screwed this up :P) but there's only so much I can do. Needless to say, I got that out of my system, and at the very least, I'm satisfied and can move on with my life :).