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One Step Foward, Two Steps Back

I never quite understood that phrase, much less poked fun at the musician who had to put that line in his song. Still, I feel the effects of that quote. To elaborate more, I'm sure you all remember of my ex-fiancee who cheated on me, isolated me, and just recently, came back to me. And we had a good thing going on for a while. But, I couldn't help but to pull her over one day and ask her why she was so hesitant...why everytime I looked into her eyes, the magic just wasn't there like it was back then. It turns out that she just couldn't get over what she did all that time ago. How that guy hurt her so bad, to this day she can't get over it. I mean, the cat was married, had a kid, and played this poor woman. And I'm trying to relieve her stress, showing her that I still care like I did all those years ago, and she wants time for herself. While I respect that decision, and I can also understand...I don't want to pass up on other opportunities while I'm waiting for something that has a slight chance of never happening. It's like, everytime we get a little closer, she pushes herself back because I remind her of an awful past. Everytime I talk to her, it feels dead because the conversations have no meaning. While I will wait...I mean, I love her so much that I will wait for her to come back to her right mind...it's just that waiting is the ultimate test of endurance: you see the better things in life walk by because you desire this one specific thing...and you start to wonder if all that waiting is really worth it in the end. Not to mention that I'm waiting for something that's not one hundred percent guaranteed.