There are people out there that should be forbidden to make zombie flicks (I've seen some absolutely horrible ones in my life...Zombiez has to be in the top 5's. Grocery meat used for the gory special effects, and plastic cleavers you'd see in a Wal Mart on Halloween week...complete with the painted on blood stains :| Oh, and the awful acting and outrageously supid plot). But Romero would be the last person I'd find myself saying that to. I've watched Survival of the Dead, and it was bad...B movie bad :|. It's not quite "place DVD on the hot stove" terrible, but it's like Romero isn't even trying anymore. Which is pretty insulting, considering he's my Geroge Lucas of horror movies.

The plot goes a little something like this: loosely basing the concept that zombies are gaining intelligence, there's a group of people trying to exterminate every walking corpse they see, and a group that wants to live in harmony with the undead (and I'm talking extremist, kill the living and let the dead freely roam around the land like they're drinking buddies). And in a way to make it seem like a well thought out sequel (to the twelve people on this earth that still give a damn), there's a clip from Diary of the Dead that shows the part where a bunch of soldiers run into the film crew...those soldiers are the main cast, and boy are they the cartoon stereotypes you'd ever see in a movie: the rugged, manly commando guy with the rogue attitude, the Spanish guy who always thinks he's sexy, the commando woman who's into other women, the wimpy soldier that's always trying to have a philosophical conversation with the sarge, and the teenage boy who suddenly appears out of nowhere and ends up joining the crew (complete with the cliche' of him being the one to save the main character's ass by doing something uselessly convenient before fading back into the shadow). Throw in the "I know we shouldn't go to the place where this creepy old guy is offering solace because it could be a set-up, but let's do it anyway" plot complete with the "but we have nowhere else to go" logical answer to the one smart person who's always the first to bite the dust plotline, and you have a story that's pretty hard to hold your attention to.

Story aside, it's the zombie threat that's the meat (:P) of any horror flick. And it's hard to find any zombie attack imposing when you've got a bunch of goofy rednecks that find some Three Stooges way of getting themselves offed (mind you, they're as gruesome as ever, but when some fool gets his foot caught in a rope and is hanging above a dozen hungry zombies, it's a pretty big buzzkill...or even better, when some idiot breaks his own weapon, stares at it in disbelief with that cartoon expression before getting mauled :|). Heck, the "creative" zombie fatalities are even harder to watch, with such iconic setpieces like a guy setting a zombie on fire, then lighting his cigarette on it, some guy swinging an axe, but having the blade fly off and hit a zombie behind him square in the forehead, or my personal favorite, the infamous "Chuck Norris Kick" that sends a zombie attacking by suprise flying off a boat :|.

Oh, but there's more...god, there actuall is more! :cry: Since we're on the concept of evolving zombies, don't be suprised to see them starting cars to attempt vehicular manslaughter on someone, a zombie riding a horse (complete with "if that zombie woman can do it, THERE IS HOPE for the rest of them!") as well as (jesus christ...) newfound undead that still hold their life long grudge in the living days. And what the entire conflict boils down to in the end...oh, god...what the entire reason for the opposing factions to start the war, what this epic journey of unimaginable horror reveals...the overlord of the undead (who looks like a John Wayne clone who went on a bacon diet) is trying his dastardly scheme of training zombies to eat something other than humans so they can coexist as one race :lol:. I mean, this is going on while zombies are on the loose and causing mayhem, and these guys actually have the time for a lenghy, deep conversation :lol:.

It's really hard to imagine that Romero is capable of something like this. I mean, Night of the Living Dead was iconic, Dawn of the Dead was memorable (you got a game whose setting is in a zombie filled shopping mall, as well as a remake...sounds pretty memorable to me :P), Day of the Dead brought the true vision of zombie gore (meaning I was actuall pretty shocked at how graphic the violence was :o), Land of the Dead was...alright. And even Diary of the Dead wasn't that bad either. So I'll guess and say that Romero tried the Shaun of the Dead route to lighten up the mood (because I swear to God this is proof he's either senile or run out of ideas) but unless bad acting, terrible characters and a lame plot was his idea of going out with a bang (because I really doubt I'll be seeing another chapter in the Living Dead series) I'll accept this as one thought: he's sitting in his little retirement home full of zombie props that gave at least two old patients a heart-attack, solemnly chuckling as he's lighting his cigar with the twenty bucks I just blew on this craptacular DVD :x. Seriously, I've seen Youtube rants that have more soul than this movie.