My jokes can be lame, but at least they're clever. So can my pickup lines. Believe me...you don't want to know what the worst ones were. 1. "You got a fever? 'Cause you're looking HOT!" 2. This one works only when a woman walks through the door: "Holy crap...I'm only 24 and the gates of Heaven are already opening up for me..." 3. "I'd take you to the movies...but I'd be wasting my money. I'll only be looking at you, baby." 4. "I'm a little lost. I'm looking for Saint Peter...oh, my bad. I thought you were an angel." 5. Give her a diamond, then say, "I bought you this really expensive mirror. No, really. It's a mirror. The label said Perfection." 6. When a waitress takes forever with your order. "It's okay...the longer I wait, the longer I get to admire you." 7. The Fonz...Everyone loves the Fonz. 8. Talking to a fat chick: "You're like the Grand Canyon: huge and magnificent." 9. Look really pissed off...then when the woman tries to comfort you, say, "I'm just mad...mad about you, baby." And add a smile. 10. "I have no heart...I gave it to you." Note: Don't try to actually use these...I was just pissing around today, and wanted to make a few people laugh.