So it's a lazy Sunday, and being a one-half of a couple that lives in suburbia, we've done what many of our kind do (apparently) and have gone shopping for household furniture. After all, is it not the Australian dream to own one's own set of self-assembly shelves to house one's games, DVDs and other trinkets?

The pursuance of this dream took two bus trips, as ours is not the sort of dream that involves a car. Or drivers licences for that matter. Regardless, the Moore Park Homemakers Supa Centa was - dubious spelling aside - was a one-stop shop for all of our various homemaking needs, as the cleverly mispelled name would imply. Many a lampshade, chair and bed had been purchased from the centre and it only seemed logical to return to the scene of such previous successes as 'Standard Lamp' and 'Loft Sofa with Coffee Table and Lowline Entertainment Unit'.

The finding and purchase of the 3-shelf bookcase was a simple matter. As was getting it home - a cab was involved! Upon arrival at our humble abode, my girlfriend presented me with a screwdriver at which point I made the first of several shock discoveries: there were no screws included. I check the instructions. It clearly said "Screws included". You can't imagine the shock of thinking you are getting screws, when it turns out your box is empty. Take that as a euphamism and it works on a completely different level.

The executive decision was made to go to the local supermarket and buy generic screws (oh the wonders contained within that phrase), rather than trek out to the so-called "Supa Centa" once more. Taking our trusty paper manual, we quickly found the right sized screws - timber screws I should add - in a pack of eight. The instruction sheet read "8 screws needed". As you can imagine, I was off my nuts on happiness.

Back home, I was happily screwing away (get your mind off it!), having worked out the mechanics of "shelf" from previous encounters. However, it wasn't until I reached the eighth and final screw that it dawned on me. I had only screwed on one side of the shelf. I felt sure that the instructions only included reference to 8 screws. I frantically consulted it again. Sure enough, I was right. In part:

"8 screws required - for this step"

Two adults with several degrees between us, and neither of us managed to work out that we were merely looking at a single step of an instruction sheet. That, in essence, is the IKEA Moment.

So it seems the dream of owning my own set of shelves will have to wait for another day, or at least until I call into the shops on the way home from work.

For now, a half completed set of shelving sits in an empty apartment waiting to be screwed. There is something in that for all of us I think.