I have had numerous friends gushing about how great the new Battlestar Galactica series is. If the 45 minutes of abridged drama is any indicator, it offers little more than the other programming positioned as "drama."

The problems I have with dramas these days can be summarized in three faulty categories:

1. Sex as a substitute for developing real relationships

2. Yelling to create tension or to reveal emotion

3. Insufficient usage of the word "Frak."

Okay, so maybe the third one was a bit silly, but Battlestar Galactica gets away with something I find absolute genius: fictional euphemisms. Why pollute a fictional world with real foul language? It spoils a lot of the charm inherent in building that new world.

Take Smurfs for example. Not only was a Smurf (the race) created anew, but the name could be applied to any number of actions, emotions, or noun replacements. Instance: I smurfed myself when I smurfed my leg into the smurfin' table. Yeah, you know what happened, and it is beautiful. I still have a bruise on my smurf from when it happened.

The language of the world creates an added depth and dimension to bring the world to life. . . but now I am merely repackaging what I have already written.

So, what exactly happened to the days when the acting was as deep as the focus photography? As my wife and I have been watching old Hitchcock movies, Orson Welles films, and animated classics from the 70's and 80's we have noticed that current storytelling methods only reward the thinking impaired. I'm not saying entertainment is not to be found in TV or movies, but writers are definitely writing down to their audiences.

The subtleties found in Strangers on a Train are far too deep for comparison with Snakes on a Plane. Robert Walker's sickly-sweet portrayal of the disturbed mastermind, Bruno Anthony, should be one for the history books. Unfortunately, audiences seem to be more inclined to lap up performances by outllandish portrayals of megalomaniacs. I suppose the Hitler archetype is easier to pass the PC litmus test than the thought of the priviledged man next door being a calculating assassin. But if he is good in bed I suppose all is forgiven.

I hate to break it to the over-stimulated masses but not everybody flits about from bed to bed as portrayed in Hollywood productions. Though I have invoked Hitchcock previously, the subtleties of his lovers (To Catch a Thief, Notorious, and North by Northwest) are not lost on me. Nevertheless, he graciously allows his audiences to focus more on the plot of his movies than the consensual affairs. 

Developed storytellers can build subtlety into their scripts. Spider-man 2 is my favorite comic book movie even though the action sequences may be over-the-top. The writing is smart and the actors *gasp* actually make an honest effort to weave subtleties into their performances. Though they do not succeed in every instance, the presentation tells more than just how emphatic one's voice can project a list of four-letter words. How sad then to see the pollution of mired storytelling seep into the current crop of mainstream comics.