Confessions of a Video Game Store Clerk (Part 1)

I really couldn't think of a better name for this series of blogs. I mean, it was kind of a toss up between Confessions of a Video Game Store Clerk and How to Make Love Like A Video Game Store Clerk, but the latter didn't quite roll of the tongue quite as easily. You may be asking yourself what the point of this blog is. The truth is, I'm asking myself the same question. I'm a little bored at the moment. But I'm also feeling a little creative, so I've decided to write. Sure, I could be playing my recently purchased Brothers in Arms: Hell's Highway. I'm sure I will as soon as I finish writing this entry. There really is no point in any of this. I'm not sure how many of you gamers out there have had your hand in the selling/managing portion of the video game industry, but I have. It was the best job I've had in my life. I met a lot of interesting people, some of which I can still call friends. Some of which were famous. And others that I wanted to violently murder, but didn't because of morals, principles, and a lack of wanted to be violated in a prison cell.

So, you're also probably wondering how all of this is going to start? Well, dummy, it'll start from the beginning....

As far back as I can remember, I've loved video games. What little boy growing up around my time didn't? I'm 27, meaning my childhood was the 80's, my teenage life was in the '90s, and my university dropout was in the year of our lord 2001. I grew up to a whole slew of system. I'll admit that I never played some of the insanely old ones, but I was an Atari kid, and grew into a NES kid. I was young, but was beating some of the hardest games out there. Yep, I was only 7 years old, but there I was beating The Legend of Zelda, but not just once. I beat the Second Quest. So what if I basically sat and watched my father play the game and mimicked every this he had done? Are you judging me? I was only 7! Screw you!

*Ahem*

Sorry about that. Then there was the thumb-blistering d-pad of the TurboGrafx-16, followed shortly thereafter by the modified CD version of the system, the TurboDuo. This was my first real step into the video game world, I felt. I was playing even more challenging and story-driven RPGs, as well as casual side-scrollers, and even the original and not widely known Street Fighter, known as Fighting Street. Talk about chunky, unresponsive controls. I blistered many a thumb on that game.

But enough of my childhood, let's jump a few years into the future. I can do that if I want because I'm writing. I'm in control here, sucker. Not you.

I needed a job. I was in high-school still, and I could legally work, and had done so in the Summer at a crappy factory job. In one Summer alone, I had concluded that factory jobs suck. I needed something I could do while still in school. But something that was awesome. Fast food jobs also sucked. I came to that conclusion through all of my friends who had a job in the industry. That was when I wandered through a practically abandoned part of my local shopping mall to find an amazing discovery. A video game store!

Where was this store all of my life? It's like it magically appeared out of thin air to appease my job hunt. I'm not even joking. They even had a help wanted sign on the front entrance. Jackpot! I immediately rushed home, scrapped together the worst resume in the history of resumes, and ran back to the mall that very same day. I was determined to get this job, and my parents had told me to hand the resume straight to the owner or manager, and never to an employee.

Every day for the next few days after school I would stop in the store and talk to the manager. Sure, I was kissing a little ass, but I was young and the job was awesome, so it was worth it. Don't judge me. After bugging the manager enough, I had landed an interview.

"Sweet," I thought. "This job is mine for sure!"

Interview day was coming up. I was psyched. I was ready for this. I was going to work at a video game store! I arrived 15 minutes before the appointed time, and by this time I was getting nervous. It's natural. It'd go away after the first few spoken words of the interview. Killing time, I scanned the general waiting area. There was a lot to see in the immediate area, after all, it was the food court. There were your usual mallrat idiots being "cool" and doing their thing, I guess. There was a random, attractive girl sitting by herself a couple tables away from me. There was also food; a lot of food. I was hungry. I don't like getting nervous on a full stomach, so I usually abandon the thought of food before anything that could make me nervous. My stomach grumbled in discontent.

It was okay, though, as I saw the manager slowly walking toward me and flash me a quick smile. It was time. This was it. But wait, what's going on? The manager, Patrice, greeted the attractive girl first, then me! What's going on here?!

Her name was Jen. It turns out that she, too, was having an interview. I felt a screwjob going on. The only way that I was going to get this job is if this girl was a complete idiot. Who wouldn't want to buy games from an attractive girl who knew what she was talking about? The majority of younger gamers would definitely rather be serviced (pun?) by a good looking young girl than some greasy guy.

Not only was she having an interview at the same time as me, she was having an interview at the same TIME as me... that's right, it was a competitive, head-to-head interview. We were asked questions, and it was almost like a fight to the death. We were both attempting to one-up each other, while also trying to sound professional. It was a vicious battle, and it seemed pretty even throughout the majority of the interview. Patrice asked very basic interview questions, but also a lot of video game related Q's, such as "What is your favourite video game, and how would you attempt to sell it?" My favourite at the time was Elder Scrolls II: Daggerfall. So what if it was the buggiest game on earth? It was quite possibly the biggest, at the time. Still arguably the biggest. Imagine Oblivion controlled in a 3D world with 2D sprite NPCs and monsters, multiply it by 10 times the world size, and don't forget to add about 15 million bugs and glitches. It was AWESOME.

Anyhow, the interview was over. Jen and I practically sneered as we said goodbye (or was it go to hell?) to one another, wished Patrice a good day, and went our separate ways. It was hard to stay positive at this point. I really wanted this job, but there was a girl who knew what she was talking about that could easily sell more than I could, but mostly because of... well, you know.

I was called in a few days later, by the manager. They knew I lived right across the street, and I had to pass through the mall every day to go to school, anyway. They had asked me to come in whenever I could, but no real rush. I immediately thought that Jen had been offered the job. I wasn't in a good mood, at all. I went to school, as usual, and on my way back home I had stopped at the mall and saw Patrice. I don't remember exactly how the conversation went, it was practically 10 years ago, but I do remember her telling me that Jen got the job before she told me that I, too, was hired. This was awesome! I got the job!

I was so happy, I'm pretty sure two drops of pee came out! I was young, I had a steady flow of income, and I worked at a freakin' video game store! I was on top of the world!

It wasn't until my second shift that I had learned that the management had no intention of keeping both Jen and myself in the long-term... They just didn't know who to hire, so instead hired the both of us, and would cut the weaker link loose after a couple of months....

to be continued...