I used be the kind of gamer who absolutely had to have every video game out there. I was after all a collector as much as a gamer, so it was a natural combination.

But no more.

This entry is where I officially announce to... well, whoever is reading this, that I am no longer a collector.

Some people might call me "casual", but that wouldn't be accurate as I steer clear of most of the games that seem to define a casual gamer. In particular, the Madden games or one of the many video games out there that make liberal use of the letter "z". ("BratZ" *cough* HorseZ *cough* CatZ *cough*)

Almost my entire Nintendo DS collection is now up for auction on eBay. I say almost because I decided to keep my copy of Elite Beat Agents. Which is also a good sign that there is still a gamer somewhere deep inside me, although very deep.

With that said though, I'm not even sure how to wrap up this entry properly without sounding a little teary eyed... it's tough. It wasn't a decision made on a whim. I'd be lying if I told you that any one thing made me do this--it's a combination of events, though I don't really want to go into it. It's a long story, and I want to keep this entry short.

As for myself, I'll still be around and with gaming mostly out of the way, I may have more time to write as well.


Goodbye Nintendo DS collection.

I've recently been reading a few topics and the posts within them from people asking about what it takes to get into the gaming industry. There's also a fantastic video from Gamespot's own Aaron Thomas regarding this very topic. It's a great video with some good advice on breaking into the industry from the guys and gals that made the cut. (Keep up the awesome work Aaron!)

But all this jabber about breaking into the industry made me reflect on how different my life could have turned out. I was seven years old and was in 8-bit and later 16-bit gaming bliss when I decided that I wanted to be a game designer. I loved video gaming and the thought of doing anything else for a living was unimaginable. I took the decision very seriously and over the years I had created many games from scratch on paper. I had all the characters, story, levels, and game play mechanics down on paper in great detail and all that was needed was a design team to put it together into a working game.

But time went on and the 16-bit era had passed, and eventually so did the N64/PS1 days. And with all those great games and good times, so did my dream of making them.


This game did more than just inspire me to draw, it was the standard by which I judged my games.

I can't put my finger down on when exactly it happened, but sometime during the last generation I came to the conclusion that I no longer wanted to create video games for a living, or have anything to do with the gaming industry. It wasn't a decision that resulted from peer pressure or disappointed parents--I came to this decision by myself.

I think part of the reason was that I grew up in the NES and SNES era, and so the kind of games that I wanted to create eventually became un-marketable over the years. The sales and gaming charts were ruled by games such as Halo, Devil May Cry, Metal Gear Solid, Resident Evil 4, Splinter Cell and Final Fantasy, and I wasn't delusional enough to think that my cute 2D platformers and puzzle games were going to hold a candle up to them. I had no interest in creating anything close to the kind of games that were selling many copies.

However, the actual final nail in the coffin of my then life-long dream was the Playstation 2/Xbox/Game Cube era itself. This is the era that marked my slow loss of interest in gaming. Ask me what my favorite games from the N64/PS1 era were, or the 16-bit or 8-bit eras, and I'll make your head spin. Ask me what my favorite games from the previous generation are and I'll be able to count them with two hands. And depending on which specific console we're talking about, I'll need only one finger.

Needless to say, the generation went on and I came to realize that not only had my ideas become out-dated, but not much in the world of gaming was even interesting me anymore. I knew that what I wanted to create was no longer feasible, replaced by games that I didn't care for and didn't want to spend my time working on.

At one point I did considered becoming a game journalist, but after much thought I realized that wasn't a very good idea as the odds were that I would be left reviewing a game I had absolutely zero interest in, and there were beginning to be very many of those.

So I eventually graduated from High School and it finally came time to make some big decisions regarding college, but after all was said and done the last thing on my mind was game design. I didn't want any part of it.

I think about this change of direction in my life now and then... the idea that perhaps I could have been working at Nintendo right now or some smaller game development company, or writing about games down at Gamespot along with all the other cool Gamespot guys and gals. It's an interesting thought, but after honestly assessing my current position in life, I can't help but think that I probably did the right thing.

I'm 22 now and I currently work at an internationally renowned corporation and I work with clients such as American and United Airlines. I love airplanes and the airline industry, and I enjoy working with computers. I like my job and I invest in real estate. (For those wondering, I have changed jobs since the "I Hate My Job" article)

I'm not by any means saying that I no longer enjoy video games, simply that my hobby has been sized down quite a bit and my goals in life have been adjusted.


There are some things I will always love...

I still enjoy turning on a good game once in a while, and I even recently purchased a PSP to add along side my DS Lite and I'm really liking it so far.

I'm happy with my situation in life for now and I'm fine with just playing games. But, once in a while... I like to think about what could have been.

Maybe this scenario sounds familiar to some of you.

You wake up at 5:30 in the morning—beating our good old friend the sun by an hour. Not once but twice you have resolved that you are simply going to sleep in and not go to work that day, but somewhere deep inside your mind the rational portion of your brain kicks in and reminds you that your bill collectors don't care if you want to sleep.

So you get up, eat, and get out. You're a good employee, just like all the thousands of other good employees that are clogging the highway so damn early in the morning, making your commute to your favorite place in the world just a little more painful.


This is where the magic happens.

So you're finally sitting in your own private slice of heaven that most people call a cubicle, quietly repeating "I love my job" to yourself hundred times after you receive a performance improvement notice for calling in sick two days before. You see, the powers that be do not like you staying home and throwing up in your bathroom sink 3 to 4 times while trying to get better.

Hell no, that don't fly with them. They'd prefer that you come to work and throw up on the new carpets and office equipment instead, as clearly indicated by the piece of paper they make you sign.

Once the storm is over, you're left sitting there in front of your trusty keyboard and monitor. You don't look at the clock for what feels like at the very least an hour, and you'd bet your right arm and leg on it. Upon checking the clock, however, you begin to wonder what the true meaning of life is. You figure, why not? You've got a whole seven hours and thirty-two minutes to think about it.

That's when it finally hits you. Of course, deep inside you already knew this, but your finally beginning to think about it out loud.

You hate your job.

It's not that you simply don’t enjoy getting up early... or that some days are a little long. You loathe your job and you hate what you do.

In my case, I'm personally beyond sick of having to explain the difference between the many health insurance plans that are out there to customers who are upset with our service and are demanding an explanation from me as to why they were dumb enough to choose our plan. Hell if I know.

After the customers cripple your ability to think rationally, the big guys up-stairs are always right on time to finish off whatever functioning part of your brain is left, essentially turning you into a machine devoid of any thought or emotion.

They usually always miss the part that knows it wants to quit however. Suckers.


I’m going to need one of these “boss murder witness” icons under my user name very soon.

So what are people like us supposed to do in the short term aside from out-right quitting? (Remember Mr. Bill? *wink wink*)

That’s the million-dollar question for me at the moment unfortunately. I'll figure it out eventually I hope, but I really just needed to let it all out in the mean time.

But not exactly the kind you probably thought of. Spring is pretty much upon us and along with a new season comes a new banner image. It's been some time now since I created my last banner image, so I decided to get off my lazy ass for at least 5 minutes and create something new. (actually, it took me around half an hour to make this new banner, not 5 minutes. So I am now a liar as well as a classic gamer.) Well then, with that said, I don't know what else to say other than "yay" and that I hope that the one lone person a week that actually checks out my profile likes the new banner!

I've always been at odds with game developing companies when it comes to the mediums used in games. This became more apparent yesterday when I decided to turn on my Nintendo 64 for some good old times and remembered why I loved it so much. (Aside from some really amazing games on it of course) Don't worry; this isn't going to turn into a rant about the golden days of gaming and how games were much better back in my days. But let's look back a bit. When the Nintendo 64 came out, it didn't have that much developer support. One of the biggest reasons of course was because of the cartridge medium, which was with no argument inferior to the CDs being used on the PS1 back then, and developers just didn’t like the limitations of the cartridge. This does probably sound a bit strange but aside from being stunned speechless by Super Mario 64, it was actually because of the cartridge medium that I loved the Nintendo 64 so much. And now we get to this generation of consoles. Guess which medium I like the best? Not the Xbox's or the Playstation 2's. Yes, I love the mini-discs of the Game Cube. But the Game Cube and the Nintendo 64 have something in common: their mediums are both inferior to the competitions--on a technical scale anyway. It doesn't stop there however. I'm a really big handheld gamer and aside from the Micro, I've owned every incarnation of the Gameboy ever made. It's safe to say that it's one of my favorite systems ever made. So when it came to choosing which next-gen handheld to get, it was actually pretty easy to decide. I did consider the things that really matter when it comes to choosing a system: the cost and the games. Now, I don't want to say that those two things aren't extremely important; they are. But in the end, it was the DS's more unique medium that tipped the scales for me. Of course, it didn't hurt that the DS is also far less expensive than the PSP and many people believe the DS has better games, but that's a different subject for a different day. Never mind that the PSP seems to be a bit lacking in the games department, it was its UMD disk medium that I didn't like nearly as much. In the end, I just think that CD's are a completely faceless medium even though I fully realize that cartridges are inferior to disk-based mediums such as DVDs and the upcoming Blu-Ray/HD-DVD disks. The thing is though - I've always thought that cartridges gave a console a unique identity just as the unique design of the console itself does. How boring would it be if every console looked exactly the same? We use CD mediums to watch movies, listen to music, and to store data. I don't expect that many people will agree with me, but there's just something absolutely boring about using those same cookie-cutter disks to play games.

Or are atleast extremely bored. Hey, this is (obviously) my first entry into this blog. Even though it's call a "blog" however, I treat it as more of a public journal. I mean, I write mostly to myself as a way to reflect on everything life throws at me. But if others care to hear what I have to say, then what the heck, come on in. Unfortunetely, I don't really have anything to talk about at the moment, so I'll just stop myself right here. ~Epoq~ (Edited to add: I forgot to promise I'll write again. )