Because 1UP.com went on maintenance, this week's Forelli Factor is a GameSpot exclusive. How's THAT for karma being a hooker and you're fresh outta cash?

OH. MY. GU-OD.

Somehow, someway, we all kinda saw this coming. Maybe the T-Mobile offer was just the start of things, or maybe it was because Sony has their own mobile phone company too. Maybe it's because they're desperate. I don't know. But I'd really like to see the DS one-that-up. Really. It's already got a microphone and speakers, and you can use the touchscreen as a keyboard/pad. Get Motorola to sponsor it (because Nokia needs competition) and you'll sink that Pissp roight propah.

What IS it like to be about the only real person who will defend Sony's honor on this forum? Well, as you can tell by people's reactions toward me, it's not a very...satisfying job. But then again, I really only defend them because I feel that people have to hear both sides of an argument. The fan-aticism on these boards is hair-rippingly aggravating, especially when they want us to switch consoles like we do our shoes. They discount experience, of which I have a lot of.

My first gaming system was the SNES, dating straight back to 1992. My first game was MarioKart. Loved it to deeeeath (and it started my love for racing games as well as fast-moving vehicles on four wheels!), and had many a fun time with Turtles In Time with my bros, though we were too poor to get a multitap then. Then things changed.

I got my first PlayStation on Christmas of 1997, with three games whose names you'll probably read for the first time if I mentioned them, as well as Destruction Derby 1. It was a LOT of fun, and the SNES quickly faded into obscurity. I was introduced to the Gran Turismo, Ace Combat and - of all things - the Grand Theft Auto series. Whod've thought I'd actually enjoy playing that 2D-overhead piece of crap?

PlayStation 2 came in Two Thousand 2. First game? Vice City One. There was also AC4, 5, zero. And GT3 and later 4. Needless to say, we're still using it today.

Finally, and on a side note, PlayStation Portable. Okay, so maybe that one didn't exactly edge Nintendo out of the market, and I still play Fire Red on my GBA (Pokémon *squeeeeeee~*). But Liberty and Vice City Stories along with ACX and a future upcoming Gran Turismo, as well as customizable wallpapers, music playlists...I could go on. I almost feel that if some laboratory was offering human-to-cyborg implants, the PSP would be included.

There's also the matter that the "service," as you would call it for those games, was pretty goshdarn good. CDs and DVDs available in relatively more abundance than cartridges and other proprietary media. Of course, the other systems finally got some sense into them and have started using DVDs too...but that's for another rant involving Blu-Ray.

Now unless you're a Taliban-grade anti-Sony fanboy who failed at basic mathematical operations in school, both times I got the system approximately TWO YEARS! after launch. And either time I was initially adamant on the alternative. I wanted a Dreamcast when it came out. Crazy Taxi was da bomb (then.) When the XBox 360 came out I played that Mountain Dew game enough to win a T-Shirt and a Beanie emblazoned with the 360 logo. I didn't really drink that many, it's more that people around where I lived just didn't throw their trash away properly, so I was also doing that whore we call Mother Earth a little favor along the way.

Do you see the pattern forming yet?

I know the Wii's successful right now, but if the previous two instances are an indicator, I'm going to wait until I can afford that PS3. So what if it (might) lose FF13 "Main" and MGS4 and Home's already up and running for so long everyone will think I'm some kind of PS n00b? It won't really help if the system it's ported isn't exactly the most reliable one on the planet and you still have to pay for full online play. And why are those two - both not exactly in my fancy - particularly so hyped this early on? I'm itching more for GT5 and a game that's so great that I refer to it simply as "The Four."

Oh, and if you were really paying attention to "patterns," then it's possible that I might get one this year...but then that'd only be about one year after release. Maybe it's more coincidence than a sign of things to come...but I'll know when I get one.

But yeah, $599 is a lot to save for, but at least the PS3 costs the same in this part of the world as it does in the States and we actually share the same Blu-Ray region as Japan and America. No importing price-fluxes here.

Because I'm still pisdaheloff at YouTube for getting rid of AVGN and the Top Gear files, I've decided to rip a new one out of CollegeHumor.

I remember when Carmen Sandiego was one of the few games installed on the Macs throughout my old elementary school, simply for its "educational value." I distinctly remember that I was the only one in school at the time who actually managed to catch Carmen Sandiego (would've caught her across time periods had the school actually had that dictionary for codes handy). Then a few years later the computers got replaced.

So, to celebrate what is probably the crowning achievement of my entire life: Where the F--- is Carmen Sandiego?

If 1UP's not working this weekend, my regular "This Week In Gaming" will be a GameSpot exclusive as well. I can change sites easier than I can change consoles. HAH! Stay tuned.