I just love this guy so much, here's some more sayings.

"We went to France but I wanted Italian food. I don't want to eat anymore pumfrets. Nobody said anything. 6 weeks later, I'm still asking for Italian food. Somebody that has been with us for 6 weeks says, "We are only a forty-five minute drive to Italy. Why don't we go there?" :evil: Yes, why don't we do that? I'll kill you later cause I need directions! Get in the car!!! I'm eating pumfrets and we're down the street from the motherland!!!!!"

"I had a trainer that would always ask me, "How you feel?" Good. How you feel? Goood. How you feel? Good..GOOD!!!!! How you feel? I feel like god is punishing me and if I'm a better person, he'll send an angel down with a chicken pot pie and a cupcake, now don't ask me again!!!!"

"We went white water rafting. *Long pause* 10 will go.......8 will come back."

There are also other sayings from some of my favorite comedians.

"Oh my god...OMG. I want to see him live so I can LOL." George Lopez

"I drink Diet Coke so I can eat regular cake." Gabriel Iglesias

"You know how I got the nickname Pikachu? That's what happens when you go to Disneyland, wearing a yellow t-shirt and you are fluffy." Gabriel