Now the pressure from the parents comes. This is when I become frustrated, and I already am. My mom keeps giving me a lacture on what i should do. "You should do this..you should do that..do you get what im saying?..." Egh...I just hate hearing stuff like that. I feel like I have just been pushed around br everyone for maybe too long..ive been thinking a long time about just telling my parents to just leave me alone for a minute or something. For some reason...I can't even do that. I think I realize why I am dissappointed with everything I do, say, and have low self esteem also..I mean, everything I do for my parents is good, but I can always do better. Also, I was telling my mom about a drawing i made and she said "because it sucked..haha, just kidding" She has done that so much to me with lots of things..and so have my dad, when I know they are joking around, but I think from hearing it so much, I forget about the joking around..and it stays with me..making me sad, and angry. I have always been put down, but jokingly. I dont think my mind takes them as jokes anymore...*shakes head*. I am also starting to stress about my 9th grade project coming up...I have to do a 10 minute speech, on a topic...Its in less than 3 weeks...I am still trying to stay focused on my art, and art class, those are the most valuabe and important things to me right now. Im just hoping that everything will be ok for everyone.  I feel like a jerk for telling the truth to a friend...I feel like a jerk, for not helping people out...I just am an idiot..and I dont know what to do.