So.... Since this video was requested (more like S-forced .__.) by my oniichan, @phoenixangel9 , I pretty much had no choice but to upload it... Well, I guess it really is my own fault since I suggested that he order me to do something if I lost a bet.. which was also my idea..

Anyway, I-I'm not forcing anyone to watch this, but knowing my oniichan he will definitely want me to tag a few people so all of you reading this... hi >///<

Keep in mind that my speech is 100% worse than it could be because I was nerveous and embarrassed when making this. <__<

It definitely wasn't yesterday I posted here, but life continues away from the computer as well... At least that's what I'd like to believe, but I guess most of us deny that we have "a life" lol Anyway, I'd like to continue my story of my very early days as a gamer. I've definitely had my ups and downs in life because of this not to mention my family partially hating me for it, but that's for another entry. Today I'd like to talk about 3 of my most memorable gaming sessions. This will be a long post so be prepared for a lot of text! So, last time I mentioned my first encounter with Tomb Raider and it wasn't exactly my idea of a perfect encounter, but I still managed to enjoy myself towards the end of it. Not to mention that I was playing with senpai which did make it a lot better. And apparently I wasn't the only one who felt that it was fun because she did give me a call a couple of days after that if I'm not mistaken. You know, at this point games where still very new to me. I pretty much only played for 2 hours in total. and yet I had still managed to get a gaming buddy. That aside I did actually say no the first time she asked if I wanted to go over to her place, but she kept calling and literally tempting me with various things I liked at that age. Like playing with her cat and eating 'Kexchoklad' - my favorite candy bar of all time! Well obviously, I couldn't resist when she started saying she'd buy 5 candy bars each time I'd go and play with her. Haha, I mean seriously who can refuse such an offer? I certainly couldn't! So that's pretty much how the gaming sessions came to be. They were pretty random at first. It could be any time and day in the week. It really depended on when both of us were free, but after maybe 6 months we decided on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays. First gaming session: The very first session we had together was the day after we had made the deal. I remember the day very well. It was summer a couple of weeks before my summer holiday was to begin. At that time I used to love being outside and play at the playground or ride on my bicycle, that still had the training wheels on.. Don't judge! lol Anyway, where I lived at the time was a small place. A suburb outside of Stockholm, Sweden. My senpai lived in the apartment building on the other side of a big parking lot. If you imagine that the parking lot is the center of the area where I lived. She lived on the opposite site... Yeah that's probably the worst description I've ever given and I apologize for that! hehe Now before I get all off topic, let's continue. So it took me about 5 minutes to walk there. I remember getting really nervous because I thought I didn't really know her and I was afraid that I'd do something to bother her, but she was actually really cool, smiling all the time. Even though I could sense in the beginning that she treated me like a fool, but in the end it kept me determined to learn more, even if I at first really wasn't in on the deal for the gaming purpose, but for the candy bars. And yes, that's the truth. However that was only what I thought before we actually started playing. The game we ended up playing that day was actually Final Fantasy IX. Since she had already played before, I didn't really understand much of the story, but after she filled me in I thought it sounded fun. So she told me about the battle system and what all the attacks did and what to think about when in a battle. Honestly, I had fun playing the game. That was the only time we played FFIX though, but during the 3 hours of gaming that day I felt that I wanted to continue playing, but it was getting late, even if the sun was still up and shining as if it was mid day. Well, she kept her promise and we went out to get those 5 candy bars. I did bomb her with a million questions about FFIX. Second gaming session: This one took place the same day as my summer holiday began. I remember that she was at the ceremony when we were singing these really awful Swedish songs that are mandatory before starting the holiday. She obviously wanted a gaming session that day. My family and I had nothing planned that day anyway so we actually had a longer gaming session compared to the first one. The first time I was in her room I seemed to have missed the Tomb Raider shelf she had. Two figurines and TR1,2,3, Last Revelation and Lost Chronicle. So I asked her about them. And she gave me this really funny story about how she just loved Lara Croft and how awesome the games were. so that day we played Last Revelation. Or it was more like she was playing and I was watching. Which really made me notice everything. Prior to this day, I had struggled with just holding the control so I was raging the majority of the time. But now that I was watching I really noticed Lara. Her demeanor, actions and of course the dialogues! I really do think that Jonell Elliott has done the best job of bringing out Lara's personality. Not to mention that she's the reason I'm so in love with the English accent.. I don't know. There's something about Last Revelation that really caught me. All I know is that Tomb Raider will always have a place in my heart. (Although there is more to my Tomb Raider story..) After pretty much getting an extreme interest for Lara Croft, we changed to Final Fantasy VII. Which is so far my worst experience with FF even today. I really dislike the series back then. Mostly because I didn't get FFVII at all and because I hadn't experienced IX completely. But getting those 5 candy bars did make the day a win-win anyway. haha! Third gaming session: This was the last gaming session we ever had together. After 2 years of gaming probably 200 days a year together it was sadly coming to an end because my family were moving that year. Right after the summer holiday ceremony. My senpai and I decided to have our last gaming session the day before the actual ceremony and we dedicated this day to playing TR: Angel of Darkness and Kingdom Hearts. Which actually reminds me of one of my favorite dialogues in the game: SPOILER I don't know what it is, but there's definitely something about this dialogue that just feels so... intense haha first time I saw this dialogue in the game I just felt how the game would probably be so much better. not to mention that Jonell Elliott does a good job in portraying Lara in this one as well. Seriously, Lara is awesome! I did play Kingdom Hearts as well, although I can't say I was really in to it,since we had one epic time with Angel of Darkness. Unfortunately all days come to an end and obviously I didn't want that. But as a goodbye she did buy me 10 candy bars... Well that's it. Haha I keep thinking how much she actually spent on buying all those candy bars for me.. Well in the end I really did stop caring about the candy. They just became a snack we shared after gaming just like some people enjoy eating pizza after/before gaming etc.. It is still one of those habits I have even today. I can't game without this candy bar. And I still love how Lara is so independent and strong and pure awesome. I really do look up to her for that. Doing this feels really good I must admit. I don't really care about how many people read this. The bottom line is that it is the first time I share the story in so much detail that it even scares me how much nostalgia I've had every time I've written these entries. This whole blog is to tell you even the smallest details of my gaming and I'm not going to tweak the story and say something like: "I started playing games at the age of 4. Loved it ever since. The End." No, I'm not like that. Brutal honesty is my thing, that's why the story can go from happy to sad in an instant. And that's what I want to show most of all. A raw story of my life as a gamer. The story is far from over though, so look forward to the next time~

Since I barely have anything to share on Fuse I figured i'd go with blog posts until I can actually say something game related again. If you remember my previous post where I wrote about how my gaming life began, this is the continuation of that one. This is something I almost never talk about, I've told about 2-3 people about the WHOLE story and that took me a while! But then again I only mentioned the 'good' parts from my story (Auron moment!) That means you guys will read everything. Yes, even the tiniest little detail... Shall we begin then? Now then, where was I... Oh right. The options to why I hated my first gaming experience. Unless you've figured it out it's quite obvious I was living in denial. And my body and brain made sure that I was aware of it! I remember clearly how I had a hard time concentrating on anything in school. My brain was filled with thoughts of Tomb Raider. My hand were itching, I couldn't sit still and And minutes felt like years... I did this to myself for probably 2 weeks until my parents thought I'd caught a fever for behaving weird. Thing is, I actually had gotten a fever, but not because of not playing games, I just think it might've triggered it. Anyway, my father let me stay home for a couple of days so I figured I'd give gaming another try, you know just to be sure that I really hated it as much as I was making myself believe I was. I'd pretty much only put in TR again, before the doorbell rung. I don't exactly remember where my father was doing during the time, but he wasn't around when I heard the doorbell ring but I didn't do because of the typical: "don't answer the door when you're alone!" Even if I wanted to see who was at the door I couldn't because of my length, so I played smart and checked who it was through the mail slot, lol! (Swedish apartments have the 'mailbox' on the door itself so the mail-men let the mail fall in to the apartment.) The response I got from the person was: "Det är Heini, jag tänkte lämna tillbaka något jag lånat från Tania"... To those of you who don't understand Swedish that translates to "It's me, Heini, I'd like to return something I borrowed from Tania" Since I'd seen my sister, Tania, spend time with this person, Heini, I figured it was okay to let her in and so I did. When I opened the door I couldn't help but look at her in admiration. Purple dreads, black leather shoes, and a black dress. Oh yes, goth! She handed me the item she had borrowed and was about to leave when she kind of stopped herself. She looked at me and then kind of scanned the place until she seemed to spot something. She then asked: "Are you playing TR3 by any chance?" I remember doing some weird nod that just made me question myself, lol. But I did take her to the living room where I had the weirdest gaming setup in history. I don't even know why I had the PS on top of the TV that was on top on a stool. Out of nowhere she just sat down in the sofa and started playing! I was like o__o But I still sat down and started playing like nothing was wrong at all. This went on for about half an hour. At that point I'd gotten stuck and didn't know how to progress... but to my aid senpai, Heini, stepped in. (didn't call her senpai until much later btw) Unfortunately I don't exactly remember where I was stuck and how she helped me, but she gave me lots of tips because I clearly have an image in my head where I'm sitting in her lap and holding the remote while she is kind of demonstrating what i'm suppose to press. That went on for a while until my father came back from where ever he had been. He, unfortunately, asked senpai to leave and when she did I still remembered everything she had shown/taught me so I remember really loving TR3 after that. The next day she actually called me and said that she had some games she though I'd enjoy and that is the start of our gaming sessions together. I'll take that another day though!

If you read my last post you already know that gaming is pretty much everything to me and I must admit that I've had pretty amazing years since it all started. I don't regret anything at all and I love that it became a part of me. Making an extremely long story short - It all began when I was 6 years old... Sounds pretty cliche, eh? So at this young age I was extremely girly I have to admit. Dolls and princesses were like everything. Then one day my uncle came to visit us and with him he had a Playstation. To be honest I still have no idea why he decided to give it to me, but obviously I don't regret him doing so. So when he gave it to me I was probably the worlds most uninterested person. I saw it as a typical boy toy and since I was a "woman" I thought that I shouldn't even be in the same room as one, but then the curious me started coming out eventually. Since it was plugged in to the TV and everything I remember clearly that I used to just stand and stare at it, thinking whether I should try a game after all. But I managed to keep myself from doing so for about a month. Then I finally gave in... And guess what? ... I hated it. The first game I ever played was Tomb Raider 3. I also hade Crash Bandicoot 3 and Star Wars 3 I think. I only played it once so I can't remember if it was the third one or second one. The interesting story, however, is that Tomb Raider is my absolute favorite gaming-series that exists in my life. Then you guys might wonder how I could have hated it the first time a played? Well, there are two options here: 1. The game really did suck or 2. I was refusing to let myself like the game since I was a "woman" ------- Well, this is how it all began. I'll probably write what happened after this some other day, that is if you guys are interested in knowing how it continues. Although the funniest part is always remembering how I used to hate games and now 11 years later the situation has changed entirely. It's just funny thinking back at it and remembering it all. This actually reminds me. I haven't thanked my uncle properly yet.

Was a while since I wrote here now. To be honest, I don't know what to say... Summer holidays started almost 2 weeks ago and since then i've pretty much only babysat and watched movies and series. The idea was to finish Bioshock since I came home from my aunt's a couple of days ago, but strangely i've not even considered turning my xbox on. The reason why i've not really written anything here is because i've pretty much covered all the gaming related stuff on my official blog, so I almost don't feel a need to say anything here, but since this blog would mainly be about my life as a gamer, i'd go more into detail here. So just to get it out there; my life will not function properly without getting something related to games every day and i'm serious when I say this. I've had so many problems throughout my childhood and ever since games became a part of my life it has become my escape route. Even today I use games as a shoulder to cry on. It has even gone as far as to me naming my xbox Sam and my playstation Kei. And i'm still being serious. What I intend to write here is about how I feel that games have made an impact on my life and why I enjoy it so much, so get ready for some pretty personal gaming tales!

Lately I've been feeling that my list of games will never end. I have over 20 games that I want and I bought two of them less than a month ago. Problem is that the list keeps increasing and increasing and truthfully it will never stop either. And I don't have the time to play so often so I can't buy them fast enough because of that. I just hope that someday I will be able to catch up. I want to be able to buy a game the same day or week as it is released. Right now I have to think about completing all the games I have before I can even dream of it. //Toni K (I hope you will keep reading this blog, because I will be writing about my gaming life - solely!)