Due to the underwhelming gaming-related plans and pollicies of the two major presidential candidates - and lack of Ragnarok - I have decided to run for President in 2012 on a 100% gamer ticket, with Steam as my vice-presidential pick... no, not Gabe Newell or Doug Lombardi of Valve, the actual Steam service.
My pollicies:
- no console shall be priced over $400, period
- no console shall be sold with a fail rate higher than 8%
- no PC game will get produced with on-disk DRM
- Steam will create Steamdemo, a program that automatically takes any game's first 20 minutes, and creates a free demo out of it
- three times a year, multiple AAA games will get released on the same day. Those days will be government hollidays so teachers like myself can stay home and game
- all gaming purchases are tax-deductable
- laws forbidding the sales of certain games to minors will be made unconstitutional. That being said, if any minor gets arrested for a violent crime, and it can be shown that the idiot owned games that weren't appropriate for his or her maturity level, then the parents and minor get community service
- all current Playstation controllers will be made illegal, as they are the most unergonomical **** creations of all-time. Sony will be given three months to create a controller that more closely matches a human hand, and not a giraffe hoof.
- All Nintendo Wiis will actually print money at random times
- publishers of older MMOs shall NOT raise their monthly prices, except to match inflation
- all major cities get access to fiber optic high-speed connectivity
- anybody who can not take care of their own PC (including keeping it running without spyware, viruses, and keeping the drivers up to date) shall be given a Mac or Asus mini-PC
- Xbox Live will be spot-checked for abusive chat. Any fool who can run their mouth but not back it up will get bussed to the victim's house, where the victim will get free reign to pummel the snot-nosed brat for 15 minutes
- Clinics that are prepared to deal with MMO-addiction will spring up near every metropolitan region
- Gamestop will be required to offer you a MINIMUM of 50% when trading your games in
Go forth, my people, and spread the word...